


Like a Phoenix from the Ashes

by Immortal_Butterfly



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Amnesiac Mollymauk Tealeaf, Beautiful Rainbow Man/Dirty Hobo Wizard, Claustrophobia, Multi, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, widomauk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-09-25 07:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17117300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Butterfly/pseuds/Immortal_Butterfly
Summary: His first memory is of darkness. A heavy weight surrounds his body, compressing his lungs and a sense of panic wells up in his chest. The acrid stench of stale blood mixed with cold dirt surrounds him but all he feels when he reaches out is thick embroidered fabric engulfing his entire body and only one thought crosses his empty mind:"I have to get out of here."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ara (WalkUnseen)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalkUnseen/gifts).



> Thank you Blue Jay for getting me into this beautiful disaster and being my Caleb. ^.^ I loved writing this and I hope that you enjoy it just as much!

His first memory is of darkness. A heavy weight surrounds his body, compressing his lungs and a sense of panic wells up in his chest. The acrid stench of stale blood mixed with cold dirt surrounds him but all he feels when he reaches out is thick embroidered fabric engulfing his entire body and only one thought crosses his empty mind:

_"I have to get out of here."_

The man frantically feels around him searching for a seam. For some indication that escape is possible. He accidentally slips the back of his right hand along a blade that had been buried with him. It was so sharp that it just effortlessly glides past his skin and he winces in pain. 

It may have been the thick, damp fabric surrounding him, or his undeniable panic, but suddenly, joint with the strange sound of crackling ice, the stale air surrounding him feels even colder. The stench of fresh blood mixes with the old, causing a bit of bile to rise up in this throat. He pushes it down, not pausing for more than a second, before continuing his search.

Finally, he finds the seam. He maneuvers around the blade to prevent cutting himself again and he unwraps one edge. Then the other. Then suddenly, layers of dirt and ice cave in on top of him and his survival instincts are thrown into overdrive. 

Assuming that the area above his face is 'up', the man wiggles, writhes, pushes and digs. Clawing through ice and dirt past the point of breaking nails and scraping his finger tips until they're beyond raw and bleeding. His eyes are squeezed shut as he makes his way "upwards" to what he's willing to bet is the surface. Until finally after several agonizing minutes, his fingers breach the surface, feeling slightly warmer than before. There was no more dirt up there. Upon that realization, the man pulls the rest of his body out of the pit.

He spits out dirt and ice and tries fruitlessly to wipe the mud from his eyes and the first thing he sees is blinding pure-white snow. The only thing he hears is the sound of his own shallow breathing as he tries to calm himself down.

After a few long moments of hyperventilation, he finally reduced his racing heart-rate to a slow gallop in his chest, allowing him, for the first time, to try to make sense of his current shitty situation. But trying to do so leads to an alarming thought. 

There was nothing there. He concentrates on his memories until his temples throb, and he cries out in frustration. Clutching his head, jumping when he touches something hard. Confused, he reaches back up and touches thick spiraled horns that seemed to branch out, like a deer but not quite. At the points that they would branch out, the keratin horns began to turn to a sort of wood-keratin hybrid. Jewelry dangled from the spirals and clinked together when he moved his head. In that moment he felt that he must look very strange.

That's all he was. A strange, horned Husk of a being who burst out of the ground like a daisy. 

He sits there for a long while. Staring off into the snow thinking about how similar he is to it. Blank,colorless, new, and terrifyingly cold. A man with no past but the five minutes of pure terror as he woke up in his own grave.

As the sun's position begins to fall in the West, the man decides to, at the very least, dig up whatever it was that he had cut himself on before. You never know when you're going to need to protect yourself. So he started digging. His fingers were still raw but he kept going. By the time he reached the familiar material that he was wrapped in, it was already dark and the two moons of Exandria shone down from above.

The material turned out to be a huge tapestry of a dragon that seemed to sparkle and glow in the moonlight. Even as it was filthy and caked in mud, the beauty of it was obvious. Along with the tapestry, there was a sword, and a small ornate pouch. He decides that its too dark to look through right now so he drags the three items out of the pit, setting the sword out in front of him so that he could tie the pouch to his waist for safe- keeping. Once that was done, he then proceeds to drape the tapestry over his shoulders in an attempt to block out some of the cold that rattles him to his core. 

Sleep wasn't an option. Besides the fact that he is currently sitting out in the open at the side of a road, something in the back of his mind tells him that he had just been sleeping for a _very_ long time and he wasn't in any rush to close his eyes any time soon. So he pulls his knees to his chest beneath the tapestry, and instead tries to think of something. _Anything_ that could give him some clue about who he is, or was. Upon failing, he starts to rock back and forth with frustrated tears streaming down his cheeks, muttering the word _empty_ over and over again, staring at the road in front of him.

After what feels like hours, something cold and wet falls on the tip of his nose. He ignores it. Then shortly after, another touches his cheek. Then his forehead. So he looks up to see where its coming from. What he sees makes his throat tighten with emotion. Against the black backdrop of sky, illuminated by the moons, were hundreds of snowflakes. Fat and fluffy, soft and white. Each one completely new and unique and beautiful. He shudders but not from the cold. Fresh tears pour from his eyes, but not from fear. Not from pain or frustration, but from _joy_. For the first time in this life, he feels euphoric. The beauty of such a simple and yet complex thing captivates every part of him.This little moment washes over the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach and the back of his mind and overwhelms him. Every bad thing that had happened since the moment he woke up is replaced effortlessly.

He picks up his sword, the blade glinting violet in the moonlight. He raises it to the sky, the flat edge reflecting the moons, and he thanks them. Deciding that from that point forward, he would think of this as his first memory. The terror of waking up beneath the ground subsides completely. He looks back up at the sky, watching the snow fall and he just watches. Waiting for the sun to rise into a new day.

* * *

As dawn breaks, the sky explodes into shades of red, pink, orange, violet and blue. Golden rays burst through the clouds and a small, bright red bird lands in front of the man and hops towards him a little, moving its little head around to look at him.

The man smiles down at the bird and places a purple finger gently in front of it.

"Hello there, little friend."

The cardinal hops onto his hand. With the other hand, he gently strokes the bird down it's back with a single finger. The bird sings in response and flutters up to his horns, perching there.

"So you like my horns then. I suppose to you I must basically be a tree. Well stay as long as you like. I don't mind."

The cardinal seems to like that answer because it does exactly that, pecking at the chains and gems that dangle from its perch.

The man picks up the sword that he'd retrieved the night before and at last takes a good look at it. 

Honestly, it was quite beautiful. The blade itself was a deep blue glass that was razor sharp and held every color of the rainbow when light hit it. The blade was oddly shaped. Sort of reminiscent of a curved leaf. The cross-guard was platinum with peacock feathers engraved in it with turquoise and gree, the grip was wrapped in deep red velvet strips of fabric, and the pommel was platinum with a moon-shaped sapphire laid into it. 

The sword must have been special if it had been buried with him. Same as the royal blue tapestry that was now covered in a thick layer of snow. Enjoying the presence of his new bird friend, he decides to take this opportunity to look through his fancy pouch. Keeping the tapestry firmly around his shoulders, he unties the pouch and pours out its contents on the ground before him. 

An orange silk flower; a few gold and platinum bracelets; two vials of some form of light purple liquid, which he smells and absolutely adores; a small metal rasp; a needle and shiny gold thread; and a tube of something dark purple and sparkly with some kind of applicator.

"I have no idea what this is." He says to himself. He puts the bangles on his wrist and puts everything else back in the bag for safe keeping. He may not know what any of it is, but for some reason he isn't willing to part with them either. As he ties the red embroidered pouch back to his waist, he is startled by the sound of many heavy feet hitting the ground and a strange squeaking that he can't identify. 

He jumps to look in the direction the sounds are coming from and he sees three covered carts, each carrying about four to six people, being drawn by a single horse. They were all being lead by two human men on horseback. As they approach him, getting closer and closer, the horned man is just entranced by them. Then he hears voices calling out. 

"Mama! Look! That man has a bird on his head!" A little girl with red hair shouts, pointing out the canvas flap surrounding the carriage.

"Look at how dirty he is!" A little boy calls in return from a different cart. 

"Do you think he's okay?" A woman asks.

"Hey, Zoe! What are you doing?!" A man yells as a human woman with red braided hair _leaps_ off of the cart and onto the back of the horse that was pulling it, unhooks the cart, letting it fall with a resounding _thump_ closely followed by a few sharp yelps from the passengers, and rides up to the two men up front, kicking her horse hard in the side, catching up to them in seconds. She says a few words to them and the older man nods, much to the younger one's dismay. The redhead, Zoe, grins and rides back to stop the rest of the carts just in front of the man. 

He stares at the scene in surprise. He doesn't know why they stopped, but his new little bird friend had flown into a nearby tree when the cart hit the ground and now as the two men dismount their horses, handing the reins to Zoe, and approach him, he feels... He doesn't really know how he feels. They don't set off any alarms in his mind, but he doesn't trust them either. Not that he really has anything to hide in the first place.

The older of the two men speaks first, the younger glancing warily down at the sword that had found its way back into his hand.

"Hi there, stranger." His voice is kind and he grins when he speaks. "Are you doing alright? You don't really look too great." He looks down at himself and then to the hole he crawled out of the day before and he smiles up at the man.

"Is it that obvious?" The younger man keeps his guard but the older one lets out a hearty laugh.

"Plain as the horns on your head." He puts his hand out in front of him. "The name's Caspar. This here, is my stubborn son-in-law, Macleroy." He takes his hand and the man shakes it firmly before letting go.

"Nice to meet you." 

"Do you need any help?" The purple man looks around him and chuckles. 

"I don't know _what_ I need honestly." He hums thoughtfully.

"You got any food?" He shakes his head. "Water?" Another head shake. "Transportation? A place to go?" He shakes his head again, lowering it solemnly. Caspar places a hand on his shoulder. He looks up to see that he is smiling softly. "Why don't you come with us then?" The man couldn't help but grin back and sure enough, he found himself nodding. Caspar offers his hand and he takes it, before being pulled up to his feet. It was his first time standing so he almost fell, dropping his sword. The older man catches him by the elbow and walks him over to the cart that the red head had jumped from. 

"Macleroy, be sure to pick up his sword and anything else that seems important. I'm sure Zoe would like the same." The teifling turns just enough to see Macleroy flinch at the mention of her name. He turns back around, meeting half-way with said redhead.

"Alright, son, this here is my youngest daughter, Zoe. She's going to get you some food and water and maybe tell you a bit about what we've got going here. I'll be up front on Sylvie. And Zoe," he turns back to his daughter with a smirk. "Try not to scare him off."

"No promises, dad." She says with a grin. 

"Thank you, Caspar. I really appreciate this." He says sincerely. Caspar tips his straw hat with a smile, before walking over to one of the other carts to fill in the rest of the caravan on the current situation.

"Welcome to the family! You got a name?" His discomfort with the question must have shown on his face because she pats him on the shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. You can choose to tell me on your own terms. But for now I'm going to call you..." She thinks for a moment, circling him like a vulture, looking him up and down. "Rainbow Man." He laughs and grins at her.

"Rainbow Man sounds great. Thank you, Zoe." She smiles and rolls her eyes. 

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, lets get you something to eat." She helps him into the cart almost getting slapped in the face with his tail before going to another cart behind theirs to look for some food.

 

* * *

 

Back at the spot where they had found the teifling man, Macleroy begrudgingly picks up the sword out of the snow, grumbling about how "He has no say in anything." The dirt and snow were unusually disturbed. Considering the copious amounts of both that covered their new _friend,_ it almost seemed as though he had dug himself out. The younger man pushes that thought aside. He spares another quick glance at the site and as he's about to walk away, he notices a thick piece of parchment tied to the staff that seemed to be hammered into the ground secured there with a thick twine. He unties it and slips it into his pocket before turning back towards the caravan, swinging the sword in his hand.

Macleroy approaches Zoe, holding out the sword for her to take. "I don't want him in the same cart as you and Telisa." She raises her eyebrows at him and takes the sword from him. Suddenly, he fears for his life.

"I'm sorry," She says, feigning sweetness. "did you say something? I couldn't hear you over the sound of your paranoia." He sighs and looks at her pleadingly. 

"Zoe, please don't do this." She holds the carnival glass sword and points it at his throat. 

"Don't do what? Make my own decisions? Trust that not everyone is out to kill us? Make new friends? What is it that you don't want me to do, Mac? Even my own father doesn't worry this much! So, I'm going to sit next to this interesting new member of our family, give him back his sword and his rations, and if he tries to kill us, then you have the right to say _I told you so._ But right now, my love, you can kiss my ass." 

She shoves past him and his shoulders slump forward in defeat.

 

* * *

 

"Oops! Looks like Mac just got an earful." One of the older women says to the man, chuckling. He turns to face her after seeing Zoe threaten her husband with his sword.

"Does this happen often?" Another lady chuckles.

"The sword is new. But the exchange? Oh yes. Macleroy is a tad overprotective of us. His wife and daughter especially. Unfortunately for him, he happened to fall in love with the most free spirited, head-strong woman in our village."

"Yep! She's a little spitfire, that one." Zoe climbs into the carriage and sits down next to him with a huff, extending his sword out to him.

"Here you go, Rainbow Man. And here are your rations." She lays a small pile in his lap, on top of the tapestry, which was still covering him, and turns around to stick her tongue out at Macleroy as he walks past their cart dejectedly. 

"Thank you, my dear." He laughs, securing the sword into a buckle on his hip, assuming that was what it was meant for. One of the women puts a small child in her arms and Zoe relaxes immediately, smiling down at the little girl. She has the same red hair as her mother and the same green eyes as her grandfather. Zoe sighs.

"No problem at all. And hey, don't mind Macleroy too much. He really means well. Even if he _can_ be completely insufferable at times..." The purple man smiles at her.

"Don't worry. I don't think I'm the type to care much about how other people see me." She laughs. 

"That's a good quality, Rainbow Man." Soon enough, a few shouts rang through the air and the carts started moving. 

As they ride away from the grave, the lavender teifling takes one last look back. What he assumes was supposed to be his final resting place was what gave him a new chance at life. So as he turns back around to face the people who chose to take him in, even temporarily, he decides that he didn't want to look back any more than that. All he has is the road ahead. Wherever that may take him.

 

* * *

 

Everyone in the cart was kind to him. A few of the older members are wary of the presence of the dirty purple demon man that they picked up off the side of the road, not that he could really blame them, but these people seemed to be generally used to picking up strangers off the side of the road. The kids, on the other hand, seem to have zero sense of danger. Or tact for that matter. The two kids from before like to ask questions along the lines of, "Why do you have horns?" and "Why do your eyes not have pupils?". The one that gets him laughing is when a little blonde girl asks why he was purple and her mother pulls her to the side and whispers, "Ashlyn, you can't just ask people why they're purple!"

There are five women, two children, and the teifling man in this one cart. Of everyone, Zoe's daughter, Telisa was the youngest. She loves sitting on the floor of the cart to play with his tail. She chases his tail like a cat with a string, occasionally tripping over it. He enjoys dangling the end of his tail just out of reach, allowing the tuft of fur to just barely tickle under her chin before abruptly pulling it away so she couldn't reach it again. Upon watching this display, the elders start to further relax around him, chuckling at the honestly adorable display.

"Seems she likes you, huh rainbow man?" Zoe laughs, as he starts inspecting the small pile of rations that she had placed in his lap. A "bread roll", some type of fruit, and a leather pouch that Zoe explained was a water skin. After the first bite of bread, he realized just how starving he really was. The bread is gone in seconds. He pauses briefly to see if he would possibly recognize the strange fruit in front of him. Its fuzzy and the color reminds him of his first sunrise. It has a sweet smell and feels soft in his finger tips. He pokes through the skin with one of his nails, leaving behind a crescent and a small bead of orange-ish nectar, which he then proceeds to lick before it drips down his hand. He jumps a bit at the flavor.

"What? Have you never seen a peach before?" She meant it as a joke, but he really didn't know what a peach was before she said it out loud. What startled him though, was the weird sense that he definitely recognizes the flavor of the peach. Lost in thought, he realizes that he was still beyond hungry. So he devours the peach too. Shocked at the large pit in the middle of it. Now that he is sticky, the dirt from the now dry tapestry is annoyingly stuck to his hands.

"Wow. You're a real mess aren't you?" Zoe smiled, uncapping the water skin in his lap and pouring a small amount over his hands.

"Would you believe me if I told you that this is the cleanest I've been since I can remember?" He stares down at his hands, solemnly for a moment before realizing that everyone was staring at him and maybe now wasn't a good time to express his true thoughts. He forces a grin and chuckles through his tight throat. "Haha. Just kidding!" Then they laugh with him, relieved that the tension was broken. All of them except for Zoe. She didn't say anything, but she definitely noticed something in the tone of his voice. Her expression says it all.

After eight hours of travel, everyone unanimously decides to stop for the night and set up camp away from the road. He gets off of the cart first so that he could help the others off as well if they need it. After eight hours of traveling together, those who were wary of him have accepted him at the very least and accept his hand graciously. Once they are all off of the carts, a woman from one of the other carts makes a beeline to Caspar, obviously anxious about something.

"There isn't much cover here. Do you think that this is the best place to stop?" She asks.

"Don't worry Margaret, from what I heard, Lorenzo and the rest of the Iron Shepherds were completely destroyed about eight months ago by a group called The Mighty Nein." Caspar's voice drops about an octave. "I heard that the name is actually a red herring. I've heard from other merchants that they've seen at _least_ thirteen of them. Another source says that there is only about seven of them. If that's the case, then they must be a _really_ strong group. They've really been making a name for themselves lately. Especially since they got rid of the notorious pirates, Captain Ivantika and the rest of the Squall Eater crew, I haven't heard much about them since then, but Shady Creek Run has been safe since they came along. Besides, we really don't have much of a choice here with the sun starting to go down."

Listening to Caspar's story, the only thought that really passes through the rainbow man's mind is how strange the name of the group is.

\----

"Alright everyone! Let's set up camp so that we can eat dinner." Zoe calls out. She seems to have the largest presence around here besides Caspar. "Many of you already know of our guest. He has chosen not to disclose his name but he is allowed that privacy. I got permission to call him rainbow man so that is acceptable if you must address him in any way. As long as he is traveling with us, he is a part of our family and I expect you all to treat him as such. You all know the drill by now, so lets go ahead and set up camp." Behind her, Macleroy was glaring daggers at him. Zoe turns to him with a smile, blocking Mac's view with her body.  
"If you ever need anything, rainbow man, don't hesitate to let me know. If you would like to clean up at all, Laurelai knows prestidigitation and mending. It doesn't hurt or take long to cast and it doesn't feel nearly as good as a bath but it'll fix up that nice tapestry of yours too."

The man grins at the suggestion. "That sounds wonderful. Thank you, dear." Something about getting to see this tapestry that he was buried in without blood stains and caked on dirt made a small part of him feel insanely happy. 

"No problem! But before we get to that, would you mind helping with the tents? Laurelai can teach you how to do it." Zoe flags over a young half elf woman with a spiky, blonde pixie cut. She sets a tall wooden staff up against one of the carts before walking over. She doesn't smile as she holds eye contact with him. She's at least a foot shorter than him and yet she seems to be sizing him up. Inspecting him at the very least. Zoe either doesn't notice or sees this as normal because she introduces the two of them quickly and moves on to help out with set up across the camp.

After a few awkward moments of steady eye contact and silence, she nods curtly. 

"Alright. First thing's first, dirt man," He doesn't appreciate this nickname but he decides that it isn't important enough to correct her on it. "You're going to have to set that tapestry down somewhere or else we'll never get this done." He does what she asked and places it lovingly next to where she had placed her own staff. When he turns around, her eyes grow wide and she moves at him quickly, honestly scaring the living hell out of him. He backs himself up against the cart, tail swishing wildly behind him much like a cornered cat. 

"What the hell happened to you?! Marley! Can you get over here real quick?" She calls, not looking away from his chest. He looks down to see what it was that freaked out such an initially stoic woman, and for the first time notices the copious amount of dried blood that was surrounding a large hole in the fabric of his shirt directly over his heart. Before he has a chance to panic, a dwarven woman who appears to be in her early forties jogs over to them and sees it too. Closely followed by about four other curious people. After a few not-so-brief moments of "Holy fuck bro are you okay" from the group of people that seems to have gathered around their new guest, Marley politely disbands the crowd and asks him to remove his shirt so she could check on the wound.

Marley, Zoe, and Laurelai are caught off guard by the hundreds of scars all over his body as well as the many intricate tattoos that are scattered around his body. At the moment though, the only scar they care about is the thick jagged one directly over his heart. Marley meets his eyes for confirmation. He nods slightly, panicking internally, and she gingerly touches it. Her fingers are soft but the touch sends a slight shock through his body. Not a painful one. It was more like a warm feeling that spread from her fingertips, to the scar on his chest and throughout the rest of his body. He could feel the rawness in both the scar and his fingertips from the night before sort of subside.

"Young man," Marley says quietly, meeting his eyes once again. "Can you tell us what happened to you?" He swallows hard, his heart pounding. There is a throbbing in the back of his head. He looks wildly in her eyes and Marley says something. Whatever it was, the ringing in his ears overpowers it. A dizziness takes over and he can't think properly anymore. She says something else. Suddenly his vision goes dark and he feels himself falling.

*** * ***

_"Something will grow here."_

_"The earth will remember him."_

There is a Bengal cat which then morphs into a Sparrow. Which morphs back into the Cat. Which turns into an Octopus.Then back to cat. Then to a Peregrine Falcon. Then an owl. Then a spider. Then a cat. Then a smaller owl. Then to an octopus. Then its a cat again. 

A long technicolor coat hangs off of a familiar stick in the ground. A tall woman dressed in gray scale approaches in silence, and collapses to her knees, overwhelmed with grief. Lightning strikes as she cries out in rage, like thunder. Black skeletal wings burst forth from her shoulder blades and she cries. 

The scene changes and She's on a ship. And so are They. The images move faster now. Drowning. Consuming. Sailing. A journal. A wall of fire cast by a ginger-haired wizard damaging a huge pirate ship. 

 

*** * ***

 

The man shoots awake, panting and covered in sweat. The details of the dream disappear into the darkness of a tent. He sits there for a while until his breathing is back to normal. Patting around the tent for his water skin, and realizing that there wasn't one, he leaves the tent to see if there was a way to get a hold of some water at this time of night. 

It was snowing again. He smiles up at the moons again, before closing his eyes to enjoy the clumps of snow that fall softly on his face.

"So you're awake." Macleroy's voice startles him out of his daze and he looks in the direction of his voice. He was looking at the fire, poking at it with a stick. "Why don't you join me on my watch?" Something about the tone of his voice tells the man that it wasn't an optional thing. So he nods.

"I'll get my sword." Macleroy was about to stop him but he just sighs and looks back into the fire. Once he has his sword, he sits down next to the other man.

"How are you feeling?" The purple man tilts his head from side to side.

"I can honestly say that I've felt worse." He chuckles albeit bitterly. For a while the only sound between them is the crackling of the campfire. 

"Marley said that you had something of an anxiety attack back there." He shakes his head and the chains and jewels tinkle together.

"I don't think that's it... It feels like something more than that." Subconsciously he touches the spot on his chest. His heart is beating. He's alive. It really shouldn't have been the most shocking thing about him but it is. This scar over his heart spells that fact out in big bold letters. He also notes the fact that the blood and the slash were gone and the shirt looked like new. Even his pants and shoes were cleaned up. He'd have to thank Laurelai in the morning.

"So you don't know what could have triggered it then?" He shakes his head again. "Marley also said something about a scar? Over your heart? How did you get that?" He lets out a frustrated sigh and drags his hands over his face. 

"I don't know. I have no memories." Macleroy turns to face him but the teifling keeps his eyes on the flames. "Yesterday I woke up in my own grave and clawed my way to the surface. I don't know who I am, or who I was. I just know that I was alive, died, and somehow came back. So I'm really sorry, but I really don't know what could have caused that earlier."

"Yeah, right. And I'm actually _The Great Platinum Dragon himself._ " Macleroy laughs at his own joke, poking the fire with a stick. After a moment he looks back at the tiefling, and his smile falls when he sees the fire reflecting in his ruby eyes. "Are you being serious?" The pained expression on his face makes him feel guilty. The parchment in his pocket burns hot against his leg. He touches it, ready to bring it up when there is a sudden clanging of pots and pans hitting the ground. The two men jump to their feet, readying their weapons. While he had his sword, Macleroy pulls out an iron mace that was as big as his forearm.

Back to back, they look off into the darkness.

"Do you see anything, rainbow man?" Macleroy says in a hushed tone. There's a glint of metal to his right when all of a sudden something small, green and toothy leaps at him from behind a cart. In a swift, instinctual movement, he draws back his sword, drags it along the back of his neck, coating the blade in his own blood which turns to ice and lunges at the figure, slitting its throat, and nearly decapitating the damn thing, killing it with one strike.

"What the hell was that?!" His companion calls out, looking at him rather than the creature on the ground.

"I have absolutely no idea but there's got to be more coming. Stand your ground." His voice came out much more calm than he really felt. He is shaken by his reflexes and he wonders once again who the hell he was before this.

The next one comes running out at Macleroy. It leaps over the fire and he rears back the mace and swings as hard as he possibly can. With a horrible _crack_ , the mace connects to the creature's skull and it's launched back into the flames where it shrieks and writhes until the only sound that comes from it is the sound of its own burning flesh. Two down.

At the edge of the fire light's reach, the teifling catches the eyes of a familiar half-elf. She has her staff in one hand and a dagger in the other. She puts a finger over her lips and points to another one of the creatures who was getting ready to jump into the fray. He nods, looking away from her. The only indication that there was even a struggle was the surprised gurgle from the creature as Laurelai stabs it diagonally through its jugular.

"Three down." He says to himself quietly. 

"Rainbow man watch out!" She yells as a crossbow dart embeds itself into the back of his calf. He cries out as he falls to one knee, removing the dart with a swift, painful _yank!_. A searing hot pain spreads throughout his body from the point where the dart hit, making him unable to stand back up. He shouts in pain and surprise as another goblin leaps onto his back and stabs him in the shoulder. Now, thoroughly pissed off, he yanks the mother fucker off of his back and pins it to the ground before growling in infernal, "This shirt was just fixed! You're going to fucking pay for that!" And suddenly the goblin's eyes fill with thick red blood and they are blinded and most definitely terrified.

"What the fuck?!" Macleroy calls before shooting another one down off the sidelines of the camp.

The goblin breaks out of the tiefling's grasp and attempts to book it out of the campsite, promptly getting clothes-lined by Laurelai's staff, knocking the wind from his lungs. One last goblin shows its face but instead of attacking, they grab their friend by the ear and drag them off into the darkness and the battle was over.

"Well that happened." Blood is pouring from his wounds as he speaks and he's slumped over his sword. "Why the hell am I the only one out of the three of us who is bloodied up?"

"The three of us? Are you doing alright there or should I get Marley?" Laurelai walks into the firelight. "Oh. Got it."

"Yeah,I'm here too. You are looking pretty rough. How are you feeling?"

"I'm sure I can just walk it off-" He tries to stand up but he just falls face first into the dirt and snow saying a muffled, "Please get Marley."

Five minutes later, Marley was kneeling next to him in the firelight, his face still down in the cold dirt. Seems like he can't really escape that..

"You should be more careful. Wear some armor or something." Marley places her hands on his skin and that comforting warmth from before returns and overrides the awful wildfire beneath his skin from before. His wounds close up enough to be able to heal properly on their own and he's finally able to sit up straight again looking up at the cleric with a devilish smirk.

"Well if I did that, my dear, my outfit would just be ruined." For the first time, true life sparks in his eyes. Marley rolls hers and hits him with the back of her hand. 

"Fine, stupid man. Sacrifice life for fashion." She smiles at him and he winks back.

"Pretty sure that I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Macleroy looked at him wordlessly. From what he learned about this man only minutes ago, he may very well be right. He once again places his hand over the burning parchment in his pocket.

"Hey, I need to talk to you about something." Marley and Laurelai take watch and Macleroy pulls him off to the side. Still in the fire light, but just out of earshot of the others.

"What's up, Macleroy?" He asks.

"Hey, you can just call me Mac." He says, rubbing the back of his neck, looking off somewhere in between the ground and the void. 

"Sure." The teifling laughed. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?" He meets his eyes, serious.

"No. Before, when you told me about _that_ and then how you helped me protect the camp back there.. That was- I really appreciate that. And I want to apologize for the way I've acted up until this point." He smiles at Mac.

"Don't worry about it. It's all water under the bridge."

"Thanks. There's just one more thing. Back at your- uh -grave, this was tied to the staff that marked it." He pulls out the piece of parchment from before and hands it to him. "I haven't read it!" He assured, quickly. "But I think that it has something to do with your past." His hands shake as he unties it, and something falls out of the bottom as he tries to unfold the parchment. He bends down to pick it up and it is The Moon tarot card. The back was purple with gold designs that flickered in the firelight, and the moons on the front glowed a shimmery lavender. Something in him said, _"This is important."_. So he puts it in his pouch with his other trinkets that he wants to keep safe, and opens the parchment to find, in beautiful calligraphy, a letter addressed to a _Mollymauk Tealeaf_. Something else inside him ignites.

He has a family. He has to go to Zadash to find the Mighty Nein. He's one of them! Reading this letter and seeing that he had made a positive impact in his previous life, and knowing that he has a place with them, even now after apparently eight months, fills him with an indescribable amount of joy and excitement and _purpose_! He folds the paper again and puts it in the pouch with the card, and he grins, wider than he could ever remember and maybe even past then. He wraps his arms around Macleroy's neck and hugs him, tears streaming down his face. 

"My name is Mollymauk Tealeaf. I'm a member of the Mighty Nein. And I am going to find my family."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Mollymauk?"_ Caleb says out loud. Dream Molly turns around and grins at him and in a voice that is somewhere between Molly's usual timbre and a young woman's pleasant lilt, like two voices at once, speaks with a soft familiarity.
> 
> _"Hello, Mr. Caleb."_ He can't breathe. Its like the ground is swept out from under him and he's suddenly falling through the same Void that the mote had dissipated into. In the Void, the voice rings in his ears once more. More feminine than Molly. 
> 
>  
> 
> _"We will meet again."_

_"Something will grow here."_

 

Caduceus's voice rings in Caleb's ears like he is right next to him. A mote of purple energy floats steadily through the Void in front of him.

 

_"The Earth will remember him."_

 

The mote glows brighter, shifting colors. Pulsing like a steady heart beat. Caleb feels a sense of comfortable, familiar warmth as his consciousness drifts closer to it.

The mote, now a living rainbow, still steadily pulses. He reaches out a hand to touch it and it begins to float downwards. It goes lower and lower, deeper and deeper until it disappears into what could quite possibly be solid ground. The mote is gone. Taking its light and warmth with it. Suddenly, Caleb is terrifyingly cold. There is a sudden intense pressure compressing his lungs and everything around him. He can't take a full breath. Panic. Terror. Fear. Confusion. Loss. Things he had felt in the past are welling up in his chest and the back of his mind but it doesn't belong to him. It feels so real but what he feels isn't himself. It's kind of... off.

At this realization, the scene changes and now he's outside. Someone is looking up at the moons through a veil of snow. They have horns that twist before small branches sprout from random points like a leafless tree or a small rack of antlers and they're covered in dirt and snow. Their face seems to glow in the moonlight. Their features obscured from his vision. It wasn't until they lifted a very familiar sword to the moons that he realizes who they are. _"Mollymauk?"_ Caleb says out loud. Dream Molly turns around and grins at him and in a voice that is somewhere between Molly's usual timbre and a young woman's pleasant lilt, like two voices at once, speaks with a soft familiarity.

_"Hello, Mr. Caleb."_ He can't breathe. Its like the ground is swept out from under him and he's suddenly falling through the same Void that the mote had dissipated into. In the Void, the voice rings in his ears once more. More feminine than Molly. 

_"We will meet again."_

 

*** * ***

 

Caleb shoots up in bed gulping down air. He feels as though he were just drowning. 

"Caleb?" Nott's voice is soft with concern as she looks up at him with big yellow eyes. "Caleb, are you alright?" For a moment he can't answer. He just sits there, catching his breath. Frumpkin nudges his bandaged hand with his nose, and forces his head beneath Caleb's fingers. With a couple deep breaths and a few strokes of soft fur, he's finally breathing normally again. Though the pain in his head would need much more than that.

"What happened?" She asks.

"Don't worry too much about it, Nott. I just had a nightmare." He pulls his hands down his face with a groan and Frumpkin curls up in his lap. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Caleb shakes his head.

"There is not much to really talk about." It's not exactly a lie. He honestly can't think of a way to explain what the hell just happened inside of his head. It feels like there's an ice pick being stabbed into his temples.

After what happened on Shady Creek Run, Mollymauk had plagued his dreams for three months. Over and over, the moment he was killed played behind closed eyelids. He wracked his brain, going through every thing he could have done back then to save him. Call out and tell him to stay back? He wouldn't have listened. Jump in the line of fire to take the hit instead? Even in his dreams it was only a passing thought. One he can't imagine himself going through with for anyone except for maybe Nott. Certainly not back then. In the end, of all of the countless possibilities that his overactive brain conjured up, he knew that he was just grasping at straws. Nothing could have saved Molly. Nothing can ever bring that warm, colorful person back into his life. Caduceus using decompose on Molly's body only solidified that fact. 

Of all of his nightmares, and all of his dreams, this one was the strangest.

Mollymauk sitting in the snow on Shady Creek Run was already impossible enough, but the strange, two-toned voice that spoke through the teifling's lips both unsettled him and comforted him in a way that he really doesn't care to understand. The ice pick takes another stab and he winces. 

"I could really use some water though. Ja. Water sounds good." He only mumbles this to himself, swinging his leg slowly over the side of the bed, but without a second thought, Nott jumps off of the bed and sprints out of the room to get him some water. A quick, "Stay right there! I'll be right back!" is all she says before disappearing down the hallway.

The wizard leans over the side of his bed pressing his palms firmly to his temples, in hopes that applying more pressure would help. It was then that Nott burst into the room with two familiar clerics in tow and a large tankard full of water clutched in her hands. 

"Caleb! I got water! And help!" Nott says breathlessly in the doorway. Jester runs to his bedside.

"Cayleeb! Are you okay?! Nott said that you were dying!" Of the three people that suddenly burst into his room, Caduceus is the most calm. Like he usually is.

"Is, uh, everything alright there, Mr. Caleb?" He visibly flinches. Suddenly the room swirls around him and Jester has to catch him from falling off of the bed.

"Caleb!" She calls a bit too loudly.

"Ugh, ja. Thank you. Just a migraine. Nothing to worry about too much."

"He's lying!" Nott accuses, spilling some of the water. "He's dying but he doesn't want to freak us out!"

Caduceus takes the tankard from Nott with a single hand and puts it into Caleb's hands. Caleb gulps down about half of it before Caduceus lifts his hands to his temples, pausing before making contact.

"May I?" He asks. 

"Ja. Go ahead." Caduceus puts two fingers to each temple, applying light pressure as a comforting warmth melts the ice in his skull. The throbbing finally stops and his vision clears. Caduceus pulls his hands away with a soft smile. 

"How's that?"

"Ja. Better, Danke, Caduceus." He finishes the rest of the water.

"No problem. Hey, when you're feeling better, Fjord wants us all to meet down stairs. You know, to figure out our next step, so to speak." Caleb nods.

"I'll be down in a minute." Caduceus smiles, placing a hand on Jester's shoulder, ushering her out. Once the door was closed behind them, Nott jumps up onto the bed, leaning on Caleb's shoulder to meet his eyes. 

"Are you sure you're alright?" He places a bandaged hand on her head, rustling her hair with a soft smile as he thinks of the scene she must have made to get both of the team's clerics to come to his aid.

"Ja. I'm alright. Thank you, my friend." 

 

In the tavern part of the inn, Fjord has a map set out in the middle of the table. Caleb takes a seat next to Beau, Nott taking the other side of him by Jester. 

"Alright. So we're here." He points to a spot on the map. "And here is Zedash."

"Yes, Fjord. I'm sure at this point we all know how to look at a fucking map." Beau looks a bit more irritated than normal as she's slumped over the table holding her forehead up with her hand. She drank quite a bit the previous night. Its a wonder how she's even functioning. He glances at her before clearing his throat.

"Anyway," He continues, "We should probably make our way back to Zedash to see the Gentleman. It's been a couple months since our last job and he's probably wondering what happened to us."

"Do we really _have_ to see him?" Jester asks, carving a dick into the top of the table with her dagger. A few months back when they had finally gotten off of the damn ocean, they had all headed to Felderwin to check in on Nott's friend then to Zedash to let him know that they were still alive and for Jester to confront him about The Ruby of the Sea. Unfortunately, The Gentleman hadn't even looked in her direction once. And when she tried to talk to him privately, she was immediately sent away. So she never got to talk to him. They went on a couple of longer jobs for him, then she had her Traveler convention and they hadn't seen him since.

Fjord gave her a pitying look. 

"Sorry, Jester. Unfortunately, even with your mother's help, pretty soon here we're going to be running pretty low on funds." 

"I knooow..." She stabs the dagger into the table, letting it sit there. 

"Hey! Can you please not stab my table?" The Tavern keeper calls out in exasperation. She sighs and takes the dagger out, putting it back in its sheathe on her leg. 

Yasha pats her on the shoulder as she crosses her arms and pouts.

"Thanks, Yasha." 

"Okay so we want to pass through Hupperdook again, correct?" Caleb asks. Jester immediately cheers up, grinning wide at Fjord, shooting up in her chair excitedly.

"We could see Kiri again!" She runs over to Caleb and hugs him. "Cayleeb!! You're a genius!" He couldn't resist the Jester-induced smile that came to his lips.

"Ja, ja. I know." He pats her arm albeit awkwardly before she heads back to her seat, basically glowing. He meets Fjord's eyes and he mouths to Caleb, _Thank you._ He nods briefly. Caduceus raises his hand.

"Hi. Uh, who is Kiri?" Jester lights up and grins at him with a gasp. 

"That's _right!_ You don't know her!" Beau sits up.

"She's our little bird.. person.. _thing._ I don't know. She hung out with us for a while after we rescued her from Lebenda Swamp a little while before we met you." Nott stands up on her chair and looks up at him. 

"You're going to _love_ her! She can't speak but she can mimic everything that we say! And she stabs dead things!" Nott's eyes get larger. 

"She's also very cute." Yasha adds. "Very small. Lots of feathers."

"Sounds interesting." He says giving them all a relaxed, half-lidded smile as he crosses his arms across his chest. "I like her already." After that bit of commotion, Fjord finally regains everyone's attention.

"Great. So first stop, Hupperdook, next stop Zedash?" Everyone agrees and they finish their breakfast before leaving the tavern to do some last minute shopping and preparations for their week or so long journey. 

 

* * *

 

"Teacups." Beau says looking at Caduceus.

"Yeah, Teacups. I want everyone to have one that makes them happy. I've been meaning to get a new set anyway." 

"So you mean to tell us," Fjord squeezes the bridge of his nose. "That the final, most important thing to do with our dwindling money supply before we leave this hell hole of a town, is buy personal teacups for all of us." Caduceus grins.

"Exactly." Fjord looks to Beau who just shrugs.

"Alright fuck it. Let's do this."

Jester is the first one to find one that she likes. Ruby-red and clear, embellished with gold roses.

"It reminds me of mama." She smiles at it fondly. Beauregard finds one that is made purely out of Jade. Yasha's is pewter gray with a rainbow of roses on the inside. 

"Fjord! Fjord! This one is perfect for you!" Jester runs to him excitedly with a cup with no handle that is deep green that fades to blue at the top and has small sculpted white barnacles scattered in clusters at the base.

"Thank you, Jester. I actually really like this." He holds the cup in one hand and looks around the sides. "Hey, Caleb." The ginger turns away from the stack of teacups he was staring at intently to look at him . 

"Hm?" 

"If you need any help finding one, Jester is pretty good at this sort of thing." Jester's eyes light up and she grins at the wizard.

"Ooooooh!! Caleb! I know the perfect one for you! Stay right there!" She runs off to the back of the store and comes back holding a clear black glass teacup and hands it to him. "Flip it over!" He turns it to the side and in gold, there is a cat laying on its back playing with a ball of yarn.

"Ja. This is perfect." She grins brighter.

"See? I knew you would like it!"

"Nott, uh, what about you? Are you having any luck finding something?" He asks. She raises up her flask.

"No, no. I don't really drink tea. It would be wasted on me." Caduceus turns to her and smiles.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I just want you to be included too. Whatever one makes you happy." She grins and shrugs.

"Oh, alright! If you insist!" Five minutes pass and she comes back with a bright yellow cup that is just absolutely _covered_ in buttons. "I found one!" She grins, handing it to Caduceus.

"Oh, yeah. This is- this is a really nice one." He places it back in her hands. Finding his own wasn't very difficult in the slightest. He finds one that is carved out of white and pink stone and the second he touches it, a soft turquoise moss grows on the side. 

"Yeah. This is the one." 

As he's about to check out with the shop keeper, one more teacup catches his eye. Dark-red, iridescent glass with gold peacock feathers adorning the outside. There is something in the back of his mind that compels him to buy that one as well. It feels like someone telling him that he's going to know what to do with it when the time comes. All eight cups come to a total of 30 gold pieces. To which, upon hearing, causes Fjord choke a bit. Whereas Caduceus just says, "This means much more than the gold. I'd say this is worth it." The shop keeper gratefully and carefully puts all of the cups into a padded wooden box with dividers, a hinged lid and a leather strap to carry it with. It probably should have been extra but she was very kind to him. Caduceus just has this effect on people.

"Thank you kindly for your patronage." She says with a bright smile. With that, they pack up the remainder of their belongings into their cart, and get on the road to Hupperdook.

 

* * *

 

Throughout the day, as their journey begins, Caleb's dream haunts him in a weird way. The mote of energy felt too familiar to him to just pass off as a simple fever dream. It almost seemed to draw him in. Like he was attracted to its very existence. He wonders what would have happened if he had been able to touch the mote before it melted away below the ground. As they ride in the cart, which they made sure to have returned to them after their little pirate escapade, and on the horses, Caleb keeps Frumpkin on his shoulder, scratching him beneath the chin whenever he gets too lost in his thoughts. Still, in his daze, he doesn't notice the worried glances that Nott and Caduceus send his way.

Not exactly _eager_ to go to sleep that night, Caleb volunteers for the first watch with Caduceus. The firbolg has his staff laying in the snow beside him as he pokes the fire a bit with a stick that he found when looking for the firewood. He sets up three large sticks over the fire like a tent, making sure the middle one would be stable before he hooks his teapot over the fire and sits there looking up at the stars and the moons. Caleb takes his seat a couple feet away from him and Frumpkin sprawls himself out on his lap, purring as he pets him with bandaged hands. 

"So, Mr. Caleb," Caduceus breaks the comfortable silence between them, as he pulls out two containers. "Would you like the Robinson family or the Clause brothers?" Caleb chuckles.

"Which would you prefer?" Cad thinks for a moment, looking around him and smiles.

"For tonight?" He thinks for a brief moment. "The Clause brothers." 

"Then, that is what we should have." After traveling with Caduceus for so long, the Nein have gotten used to the Night Watch tea parties. Caleb suspects that they may become even more frequent now that they've all got their own cups. He opens the lid of the teapot and puts the tea leaves inside to steep. Then he takes out their two of the eight teacups. Caduceus places the cup in his hands and after a few moments, he pours the tea. Translucent vapor wafts off into the cool night air. 

"Now that we've got that out of the way," He says placing the clay pot back over the fire. "It feels like something has been off about you since this morning. If you, uh, don't mind sharing, I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good listener." Caleb is not at all surprised that Caduceus had noticed that something was up. Not much gets past his crazy insight.

For a moment, he debates telling him all about the dream. Caduceus seems to be the one to go to about matters like this. Still, he says nothing. 

"There is nothing to share, but thank you. I'll, uh. I'll keep that in mind." Caduceus nods and they spend the rest of their watch in silence, drinking tea while Caleb internally kicks himself for brushing his friend off so quickly. Beau and Yasha take the next watch, leaving Caleb no choice but to go to sleep. He lays down in his tent next to Nott, Frumpkin curling up on his chest, and he drifts off into sleep.

 

*** * ***

 

He is surrounded by nothing but Void for a while. Time means nothing as he feels his consciousness drift for hours, days, weeks, months. The Void is all he sees. All he knows. Then a mote of lavender energy rises out of the same void. The color pulses once again like a heart beat. First it's erratic and panicked. For a while all it does is pulse with anxious energy. Suddenly the pulsing slows and steadies. The anxiety is replaced by calm and the color shifts. It doesn't stop shifting. The center of the mote remains that same lavender but the light it emits bursts through the void shifting through every color like aurora. The living light reaches Caleb and the cold emptiness of the Void is suddenly warm and bright like the dawn. He wonders if the light would disappear beneath the surface again and leave him cold, but this time it stays. Comforting and warm and bright and alive. He wonders if this time he could touch it. He reaches out his hand, fingers tangling in strands of light and warmth, and it moves away. And the voice rings out, more female than Molly. 

"Not yet, dearest flame. I promise the time will come, but not today." The dream fades to black.

 

*** * ***

 

Mollymauk wakes up to the sound of a horn. 

He shoots up in his tent and for a minute he has no idea where or who he is then he hears the sound of people waking up all around him and he takes a deep breath. "My name is Mollymauk Tealeaf. I'm traveling with a large group of people. I know who I am now. I have a family in the Mighty Nein. I will find them in Zedash." He repeats his name a few more times as he calms down. 

He looks down and notices that he had been using the tapestry as a blanket. With a grin, he realizes that it is now one hundred percent free of all dirt and blood, the fabric itself is a royal blue and the silver threads that make up the dragon seem to actually sparkle like the metal itself was woven into it. He ties his red embroidered pouch to his waist, carefully slides his blade through a leather holster which, as he was informed by Macleroy, is where he's _actually_ supposed to put his sword when it's not in use, and folds up the tapestry before leaving the tent.

"Good morning, Mollymauk." Zoe calls out to him with a grin. He gives her a look as she approaches.

"How did you-" 

"Macleroy filled me in. Are you alright?" She places a hand on his cheek, searching his eyes for any indication that he wasn't okay. Molly smiles at her, taking her hand away from his face.

"I've literally never been better." He looks around him. Including himself, there is a total of twenty people in their group. "You would think that whatever it was that attacked us last night would know better than to pick a fight with such a large group." She laughs bitterly.

"Yeah, well Goblins aren't exactly the brightest of creatures. Laurelai said that you were able to hold them off mostly on your own. That is no easy feat." Molly smiles.

"Thanks but they definitely made their marks on me as well." The gashes on his leg and shoulder may be nothing more than healing scars at this point, thanks to Marley, but they're definitely still sore. "By the way, what happened to the bodies?"

"Mac and my dad took care of them before everyone woke up. No need to let them know too much about what went down. Aunt Maggie would just become insufferable." The scent of something savory and delicious reaches his nostrils making his mouth water and his stomach rumble. 

"What is _that_?" She laughs.

"That's right. You never actually got to eat last night. Come on, Molly, food is this way." She ushers him to one of the two fires that were set up in the middle of the camp. They stop at the closest one where everyone he had met the day before, save for Laurelai, was sitting and eating something yellow and scrambled and strips of some form of meat. 

"Hey, everyone, look who's alive!" Everyone turns to him and grins. Zoe sits down on the other side of Telisa who is sitting next to her dad with her own plate of whatever it was. 

"Hey, Rainbow Man!" They all called. Molly smiles at them with a brief good morning before sitting down in between Zoe and Caspar, who hands him a tin plate with a bit extra of everything. 

"Since you didn't get anything last night." He says with a smile.

"Thank you, Caspar." He devours everything so quickly that he can't remember whether or not he took a single breath the whole meal. They all cleaned up their plates and left to pack up their belongings. 

The morning air isn't nearly as cold as it could have been with everyone scrambling to break down camp. _Douse the fires, pack up your bedrolls and tents._ Everyone works together as a unit to get back on the road as soon as possible. It isn't until everything is packed up and everyone has a chance to board the carts that the cold catches up to Mollymauk. He's seriously debating getting his tapestry turned into a coat. Today he chooses to ride with Laurelai and Marley in hopes that they could talk a bit more about last night. Of course when he voices this, Zoe invites herself to join them, bringing Telisa along with her. Not that it was an issue in the first place. 

Once they were about an hour into their travels that's when Molly realizes that he has no idea where the hell he is or where they're going. 

"Technically, we don't have a current _final destination._ " Laurelai says. "A lot of the time we're just travelling to avoid the war." Zoe brings out a map labeled _"The Dwendalian Empire"_ and points to a spot. 

"This is where we found you." She points out another spot. "This is how far we traveled yesterday." She points to the word, _"Hupperdook"_. "This is where we are stopping for some supplies before moving along the mountains of Silberquel Ridge." Molly looks just past the river and sees a word that he actually recognizes. Excitedly, he points to it.

"I have to get there!" The women all look at him.

"Zadash? I thought that you didn't have a destination.." Marley says. Molly smiles at them and tells them about the letter that Macleroy found at his grave. He tells them his name and who he needs to find. He tells them about this _Caleb_ who wrote him the letter just in case he would come back to life.

"Wait wait wait. Hold on a second, Mollymauk, was it?" Laurelai looks to him for assurance. He nods. "So you mean to tell us that, not only do you not have any memories of who you are or were or whatever, but it turns out that you're a member of this _"Mighty Nein"_ and you actually fucking _died_?" Molly nods again.

"Yep, and it turns out that its spelled N-E-I-N rather than the number nine. I'm not really sure why though.." Zoe, who has remained quiet throughout this conversation, rolls up her map and turns to him.

"Molly, may I see this letter?" He unties his pouch and sets it in the middle of the cart. opening it, he pulls out the Moon card and the letter and hands both to her.

"Why the Moon tarot?" Laurelai asks. He just shrugs. Zoe reads the letter and smiles before handing it back to him.

"As much as I would hate to have to share you, these people must care very deeply about you, Mollymauk." She hands him back the letter. "Unfortunately, we can't help you get all the way to Zedash, but we'll definitely get you started. Is there anything that you would like us to teach you before we get to Hupperdook?" Molly grins.

"Actually, yes." He empties the contents of his bag, his tail whips around behind him and Telisa has already taken to grabbing at it, giggling behind him.. "Can you tell me what all of this is?" Marley picks up one of the small vials, uncorks it, and smells it.

"Lavender oil." She places it back in the bag. "You can put in on your wrists, behind your ears, et cetera. It's basically something to make yourself smell nice." Laurelai picks up the flower and fastens it to his hair in a tight braid. 

"That's just a little silk flower." She sits back and eyes him with a shrug. "It looks nice there." He smiles back at her when Zoe picks up the metal rasp.

"I think this is supposed to be a nail file? Give me your hand for a moment." He does what she asks and watches as the breaks and cracks in his nails from digging himself out of the grave even and smooth out. "There, that's better." Without speaking he hands her the other hand, swishing his tail around happily. She rolls her eyes, but does file those nails as well. after a few more moments, the final object was identified as a sparkly purple lipstick. The needle and thread was self-explanatory to say the least.

"You know, Rainbow Man, just by looking at these things, I learned a lot about the type of person you were." Laurelai smiles at him, her blond hair falling in her eyes. 

He leans forward, elbows on his knees and fingers laced beneath his chin, smirking. 

"And what would that be?" She rolls her eyes.

"Flashy." He slumps forward and laughs loudly. 

"What is it that gave _that_ away? Was it the lipstick or the peacock tattoo?" She elbows him hard in the arm.

"Shut up, Molly." He pokes her with his tail.

"I don't think I'm the type of person to do that."

 

For quite some time, conversation between them ceases, and he decides that there is more that he would like to learn.

"Hey, Laurelai? Marley? Can you try to teach me some magic?" They exchange a look.

"I might actually have a hard time with that.." Marley says. "I'm what they call a cleric. I gain my magic ability through the strength of my faith in my god." Laurelai looks him over as intently as the moment they first met.

"You know, I seriously think that you are a druid." Everyone looks at her then back at him. Zoe puts her palm to her forehead and lets out a long sigh.

"Shit that actually makes a ton of sense.."

"What is a druid?" 

"A druid is someone who has a unique connection to nature and has the ability to draw power from that." Zoe is the one that speaks. Molly chuckles.

"Yeah, okay. What on earth makes you think that _I_ am a druid?" All three of them look up at his horns then back at each other.

"Molly, you're literally growing leaves as we speak." Zoe gestures up to them. Noticing his confusion, Marley opens up her bag and rustles through it until she comes out with a round reflective sheet of metal the size of his hand, and gives it to him.

"Wow, I'm gorgeous. How do you all resist me?" Zoe rolls her eyes, lightheartedly at him and angles it so he could see his horns." _Oh gods.._ " His horns start just beyond his forehead in his hair line and twist backwards then forwards again like a ram but then they branch off like a deer. Jewelry hangs from the spirals, and a few green leaves have started to grow on the branches. The orange silk flower really does look fantastic in his hair.

"How is that even possible..." he says touching the small branches. He knew that they branched off like that the first day he woke up but the leaves are _definitely_ new. "The other day I wasn't growing leaves was I? I'd think someone would tell me.."

"No one expected you _not_ to know honestly." Laurelai said. "Though when I met you, I knew what you were immediately."

"Drop-dead beautiful?" He puts the back of his hand to his forehead with a dramatic flourish and for a moment, she's rendered completely speechless. " _Devilishly_ handsome?" She back hands him in the arm.

"A _druid_ , Ass-hat!" He laughs.

"Alright alright. So apparently I'm a plant person. What can you teach me about that?" She laughs.

"Nothing while we're on the cart."

"I could ask if we can stop for a bit." Zoe says, putting braids into Telisa's hair. "Hey, Mac!" She calls. Since this time they were in the very front cart, it only takes a moment for Macleroy to slow his horse and talk to his wife. Though, silently Molly thinks it is a shame that he can't see her jump off of the cart again.

"What's up?" He nods his head at Molly who grins and winks back. He stiffens slightly and turns back to his wife, sending a wave of satisfaction over the teifling.

"Do you think that we could stop for a couple of hours? It's not deathly important but we would all like to stretch our legs." He smiles at her fondly.

"Yeah, sure. I'll talk to your dad." He rides off back to the very front and after a few moments all three carts are pulling off to the side of the road. Here there is still not too much of a covering, but there is a nice scattering of trees. Snow is still present, but significantly more scarce than back on Shady Creek Run, as Zoe called it. 

As soon as they get off the cart, Laurelai drags Mollymauk off to a nearby tree that is close enough to the group that no one would worry, and far enough away from them that they won't be bothered by distractions. She picks up a leaf off of the ground and makes a rip in it before handing it to him. Then she places two lodestones in his hands.

"Fix the tear." He looks at her like she's lost it.

"Sorry, what?" She rolls her eyes.

"This is called _Mending_. It's the most basic cantrip you can learn. So just focus on it for a minute. Imagine what the leaf was like before it had a rip in it." About a minute passes and nothing happened.

"This is stupid." 

"Try again, Mollymauk Tealeaf." Another minute passes and finally the leaf is returned to it's original state.

"I did it!" He grins and his tail whips her in the calf. 

"Ow! What the hell Molly?!" He just grins at her.

"Sorry! Teach me another one?" 

Within the two hour time period that they were granted, Molly is able to learn more than a few spells. He can blow Laurelai five feet away from him just by blowing on her, take a thorny vine off of the tree and make a thirty foot thorn whip that just barely misses hitting her, wrapping around the tree instead, and turn five feet of dirt into jagged rock. He accidentally covers Laurelai in a layer of frost, sprays her with a puff of poisonous gas, and accidentally scares off every single bird in the valley away with _Thunderclap_. She decides that they are done once he creates a rainstorm right above her using _Create Water_. 

"Okay. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have anymore near-death experiences with you, so I'm just going to make you a little spell book. So until we stop for the night, don't bother talking to me about it. Any other spells outside of this, you will have to research on your own once we reach Hupperdook." Molly smiles at her and gives a lavish bow.

"Thank you for teaching me, Laurelai."

"Yeah, yeah. None of that. Let's just go back to the others. Marley!" She calls out, looking like she was hit by an actual fucking hurricane. She shivers from the cold. "I need healing!" With that, they return to the cart where Molly fixes the holes in his shirt, pants and shoe from the dagger and cross bow bolt. The blood is still there, but he can ask Laurelai to help him out with that once she's a little less... _beaten up_.

 

"So? How did Druid Training go?" Zoe asks while Molly lays on the ground wrapped up in his tapestry, taking a nap. Laurelai just glares at her. "That bad huh?" 

"Oh, no. Molly is a natural. No pun intended. He actually did _too_ good of a job. It was the poison spray that really got to me though.." Zoe laughed.

"You let him use actual attacks on you? You fucked yourself there, Laurelai." She shakes her head. "So what are you working on now?" The druid shows her the book that she's writing in. "You're making him a spell book? You really like him don't you?" She rolls her eyes.

"It's not very often that I get to meet another druid. Especially one that knows less than me. I don't know. It's just nice. Plus the poor guy has been through enough without tacking self druid training onto that list. That and he seems like the kind of person to not bother practicing at all if he doesn't know where to start. So I just want to give him the opportunity to grow."

"No pun intended?" Zoe says with a smirk. Laurelai flips her the bird. 

 

Mollymauk wakes up to find Marley stitching a design into a piece of fabric. He lays the back of his head on her knee and looks up at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Embroidery. Would you like to learn?" Molly's tail swishes and wraps around Zoe's calf.

"I would _love_ to." He sits up and gets close to her, watching and listening intently as she explains everything she does before handing the needle, fabric, and embroidery floss over to him. After about ten minutes, Molly is able to make a slightly messy, but still identifiable leaf. In another ten minutes, he makes a different kind of leaf. Then he keeps going until the fabric is full and by then, an hour has passed.

"Laurelai is right. You really are a fast learner. I'm sure that if you keep practicing, you could make just about anything you like."

"Can I put designs on my tapestry?" She smiles. 

"Of course you can. Here." She takes his small pouch and opens it up, placing a rainbow of colors worth of embroidery floss, a larger-eyed needle, a small pin cushion, and a needle threader into it before tying it off once again. 

"Wait, I can't accept all of this-"

"Yes you can. This is very easy for me to come by. Plus I've got extra supplies for myself. This is much like Druidcraft. If you just keep practicing, you can only get better. And I trust that you, Mollymauk, will be determined to keep going no matter how hard the pattern may be." Molly hugs her.

"Thank you, Marley. I will treasure this." She hugs him back.

 

* * *

 

They push on into early evening until Caspar decides to make camp for one more night before they reach Hupperdook. There is no more snow on the ground. The plants are all coated in a safe cocoon of frost. 

"Tonight is our friend, Mollymauk's last night travelling with us." Caspar says once everyone is gathered around their single fire pit for the evening. No one looks happy that he is leaving the caravan but only those he had gotten close to over the course of the trip look genuinely sad. "Laurelai has informed me that he had been practicing Druidcraft earlier today and would like to apologize for the sudden boom of thunder from lunch." They really laugh at that. "This also means that for tonight's celebration, he will be the one lighting tonight's bonfire." As if by instinct, every single one of them, including Zoe, take several steps back.

"Okay, that was probably well warranted." Molly says getting a rise out of everyone. He gets to about ten feet away from the large tepee of firewood in the middle of camp, and after a moment, the wood ignites and they all cheer. Laurelai gives him a slap on the back and says a light, "Luckily if you set any of us on fire, you'd have been able to douse that out with a patch of rain." 

"Ha-ha." He grins at her. 

Everyone gathers back closer to the fire, bringing over brass and stringed instruments to the large make-shift circle. Dinner and Ale is distributed and Molly grabs Telisa by the hands and starts dancing with her by the fire. She laughs and giggles as she's spun around to the music. Once she is appropriately dizzy, he puts her in Zoe's arms and drags Macleroy out to dance with him. Everyone laughs and grins and claps along with the up-beat music, egging him on. Molly spins him around like he had with Telisa, and dips him back, wrapping his tail around his waist, and plants a firm kiss on his lips. Zoe cheers the loudest.

Eventually, hours pass by and the majority of people go off to their tents for the night, patting Molly on the back for such a good performance. As Molly's bonfire dies down, only Zoe remains with him with Telisa asleep in her arms.

"Thank you." She says quietly. 

"What for?" She chuckles.

"For being yourself. For living in the moment and allowing us to share that moment with you." Telisa stirs in her arms, and her eyebrows furrow. Molly pokes the space between her brows and they relax before she cuddles into her mom's embrace. 

"I'm the one who should be thanking you. You took me in when I had nothing. I still don't have much other than a tapestry and a pouch full of random things." She smiles, brushing the hair out of Telisa's face.

"Mollymauk, if there is anything that I want you to take with you when you leave tomorrow, it would be to do anything that you desire. Indulge yourself in whatever makes you happy. Wear dresses sometimes, deck yourself out in jewelry and go out dancing. Kiss whoever the _hell_ you want!" Molly laughs hard at that one. "But make it so that at the end of the day, you look back at the things you did, and you don't regret a single thing. You came back to life. That's an actual _miracle_! So live this one to the absolute fullest you can because you might never get another chance." 

After that, Zoe kisses him on the forehead, and goes off to take Telisa to the tent, leaving Molly alone by the dying fire and he unsheathes his sword, raising it to the moons above, and he says a simple prayer to whatever entity created them, and he thanks them once again. He turns the sword around in one hand and examines it. He can't help this feeling that this used to be one of a pair. He looks down at his empty hand and he imagines what the other blade would look like. He thinks of a blade of red, orange and yellow. Gold instead of platinum. A topaz sun in place of a sapphire moon. Molly produces a flame in his empty palm and wonders if somehow he could find a sword like the one he imagines and cast this through the blade. The thought brings a smile to his lips and he extinguishes the flame, sheathes his sword, and heads back to his tent for the last time.

 

*** * ***

 

Sleep comes to him quickly. The minute he shuts his eyes, he feels his body drifting through a void.

_My dearest Moonbeam, you have started your journey splendidly. It is my wish that you will continue to learn and grow. For your progress today, I have a gift: A little bit of who you once were._

The gentle voice of a young woman plays in his mind as his consciousness stops drifting and he is standing in a large blue tent. He watches as he sees a version of himself wearing a beautifully loud technicolor coat walking by with a woman who is much taller and dressed in gray-scale. He vaguely recognizes her from his previous dream. 

"So there I was, in this city, Gustav was nowhere to be found and I had run out of the castle as fast as I could. So I get outside by jumping out of a window and I turn a corner and there are three Crown's-guard. Obviously, I was caught wearing the Duke's circlet and this gaudy fur cloak, which of course looked fantastic on me. So naturally, I chose to play the part."

"Molly, please tell me you didn't." Her voice hits him like a sucker punch but the scene keeps playing. 

"I can't, my dear. Because I _totally_ did." She throws her head back and laughs. "I righted my cloak, and looked at them like they weren't worthy of my presence. Then I said, _'There you are!'_ " The woman laughs again. "Long story short, that's how I became the Duke for a week." 

"I wish I could have seen that." She says with a smile. 

The scene changes and Past-Molly is sitting on the floor of a smaller tent, lit only by a single torch in the middle of it. The woman is sitting down in front of him while he braids yellow and orange flowers into her hair.

"Hey, Yasha?" She hums a response.

"You said that you had a wife, Zuala." Her breath hitches. "Can I ask what happened to her?" For a while the only sound in the tent is the torchlight crackling.

"We were in love. I still am. But- We were married in secret. In our village you mate for life but they didn't approve of our union. So they uh.." She cuts off as tears stream down her cheeks. Present-Mollymauk wants to run to her. To hold her and assure her that he was here. "They killed her. And I- I ran." Molly stops braiding her hair and wraps his arms around Yasha's waist.

"I'm so sorry..." They hold each other for a long time and Molly can feel his throat tighten when all of a sudden, a sharp piercing pain explodes behind his eyes like ice as memories of her play out one after the other. He remembers Yasha. _The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities._ He remembers walking into a tavern in Felderwin one day on business and then the memories stop. And the ice recedes. And he returns to a peaceful void. 

_"This is your oldest, most special bond, Mollymauk. I grant you these important memories in hopes that you will continue to flourish and grow. I will visit you again very soon my Moonbeam._

 

*** * ***

 

Mollymauk wakes up to the sound of a horn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling that the timelines are going to get a bit confusing so i set this up for all of our sake:
> 
> (Day/Night 0: Molly) Molly emerges from the ground mid day and doesn't sleep that night.  
> (Night 0: Caleb) Caleb has his first dream.
> 
> (Day 1: Molly) His first sunrise, he meets the caravan and in the early evening, faints from a panic attack  
> (Day 1: Caleb) Caduceus buys everyone teacups
> 
> (Night 1: Molly) His first dream from the Moonweaver; Goblin attack; Macleroy gives him Caleb's letter and he learns who he is. He then goes back into a dreamless sleep for the rest of the night.  
> (Night 1: Caleb) Caleb has his second dream from the Moonweaver where she calls him "Little Flame".
> 
> (Day 2: Molly) He wakes up to the sound of a horn; embroidery and Druidcraft
> 
> (Night 2: Molly) The Caravan throws a farewell party; Memories of Yasha and the Carnival are returned.


	3. Chapter 3 (I promise this chapter isn't an April Fool's joke!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " _Right?!_ Isn't it just _so_ fun?" Jester's eyes grow serious. "Answer the question _Caleb_." He looks between Nott and Jester and Fjord. 
> 
> "You- you're both very nice." Jester's eyes glint mischievously. 
> 
> "What if it was Fjord or _Molly_ who would you kiss then?" There's a weird pain in Caleb's chest when she mentions his name. It had been so long since any of them had talked about their old friend and the dreams have started to reopen some old wounds. He glances at Yasha who seems to feel a similar way. He doesn't want to answer but he knows that she'll never move away from the topic unless he chooses. Besides, Mollymauk died quite some time ago so its not like there's any harm in choosing him. At the very least, Fjord will be relieved. It couldn't possibly backfire. Besides, if Molly really wanted to kiss someone, he could do it. Regardless of gender or humanoid. It would take a very strong resolve to say no to someone like him..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long to post. I was finally able to get a job again so I've been busy and unmotivated. I honestly had everything but the last three scenes written out back in January but it was also just really hard for me to become satisfied with this chapter. So after reworking every part of it, writing and rewriting scenes, I'm finally happy with the product. In the end, I love how it turned out and I hope that you all enjoy it as much as I do!

"A thousand barrels of Ale on the wall, a thousand barrels of Ale! Take one down, pass it around, Nine-hundred and ninety-nine barrels of Ale on the wall!" Jester's spirited singing is the only conversation as they go into the second day of travel to Hupperdook. _Eight full hours later,_ and that's when Beauregard finally cuts her off. Letting her get to two hundred barrels of ale left on the wall by threatening to carve out her own throat with _Jester's_ dagger. Luckily for everyone's sanity, Jester obeys, admitting that she just wanted to see how much they could take before cracking. Apparently, eight hundred barrels of Ale was six hundred more than she had expected. 

While Jester's song was definitely insanity-inducing, Caleb has to admit that he appreciates the distraction from his own thoughts for once. Being referred to fondly as a _flame_ probably bothers him more than he cares to admit. It Reminds him of Trent and sends a ripple of fear through his body. What if he'd found him? What is the fastest route to run away? But then logic sinks in and he knows that there is a very different feel from Trent as opposed to the voice from his dreams. A female voice can be easily achieved through magical means. But it's the _feeling_ that the dream voice emits that is too _caring?_ Rather than using smooth words of encouragement to manipulate him like Trent often did, the voice itself gave the nickname a much more maternal vibe. Like she genuinely cares about his well being. The notion itself that someone other than Nott genuinely cares about him is, of course, completely preposterous. Therefore, Caleb squashes down that line of thought immediately. 

As everyone prepares to go to sleep, Caduceus pulls Caleb aside.

"Mr. Caleb," He starts. "Nott told me that you had a nightmare the other day and it seems like that is what has been bothering you more or less these past couple of days." Caleb blinks up at the firbolg, resisting the desire to send a light glare in Nott's direction. "Now, I'm not asking you to describe them to me, but if it's dreams that have been bothering you again, you should try to keep a dream journal. You don't want to talk to me or Nott about them, and that's totally fine, but I've always found that writing down the things that bother me helps to get me through them." He finishes with a smile.

"Ah, yes. Thank you, Caduceus. I will, uh, try that then. Guten Nacht." Caleb escapes quickly and goes around the perimeter of the camp with his silver thread, avoiding eye contact with any one around him before heading inside his shared tent with Nott. 

"Sooo..." Nott says as Caleb starts to drift off into sleep. "What- uh. What did you talk to Caduceus about?" Even without darkvision, the wizard could easily see her fidgeting with her bandages." He sighs softly.

"He recommended that I keep a dream journal." Silence passes between them.

"Cool, cool. And um, was there any reason why he-"

"Nott."

"I'm sorry Caleb! It's just that we've been worried about you. You've just been really out of it lately. More so than usual. So I talked to Caduceus and hoped that if you didn't want to talk to me, then you would talk to him and-" Caleb places a hand on the top of her head and ruffles her hair a bit.

"Thank you, Schatz. I'm sorry to have worried you. But I'm fine. I promise." Her yellow eyes seem to glow within the dark tent.

"Are you sure, Caleb? You won't be coughing up salt water anytime soon?" She says softly. He smiles back at her knowing that she can see it through the darkness.

"Ja. I'm sure." She curls up into his side.

"Okay Caleb. As long as you're sure." A pause. "But I'll bite you if you're lying to me." He chuckles and snaps Frumpkin into existence right on his chest where he belongs.

"Good night, Nott."

 

* * *

 

With everyone else asleep, Fjord and Beau take watch. 

"How do you feel about heading back to Zedash after so long?" Beau pokes at the fire with a stick, her Night Shades resting on the top of her head.

"Honestly?" Fjord asks, summoning and unsummoning the falchion in his hand. Salt water sprays as its summoned, making a satisfying _hisss_ as it hits the flames. "Pretty weird. For once we don't have an actual plan aside from getting to the gentleman and getting Jester another chance to talk to him." Beau shrugs.

"We could always pop in on my parents. Wreak some habit back at their estate. Meet my apparent brother." Fjord looks at her with an eyebrow raised. She laughs a bit. "Yeah, I really couldn't care less if we go there or not. They could have been fucked up by the Kryn and I would probably laugh." Fjord doesn't comment on the obvious venom in her words. Or the lack of truth behind them. He just turns his gaze back to the fire as the two of them fall into silence. 

Suddenly, Beau throws the goggles down over her eyes and turns around abruptly. Just in time for her to catch two crossbow darts heading straight for Fjord's back. Seeing where they came from, she throws them back, rewarding her ears with two consecutive dull thumps followed by a resounding, _"Ah, fuck!"_ from the assailant.

"Hey, Fjord, you wanna wake up the others? Looks like we've got company."

"On it." He says before running into the nearest tent. He doesn't have to go far because Caleb and Nott are already out of their tent.

"Let me guess," Caleb says. "We're under attack." 

"I'm gonna bite their fucking heads off!" Nott snarls, aiming her crossbow at the darkness.

"Go ahead. I'll get the others." Fjord says, turning on his heel to the other tents. Caleb puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. 

"Nott, wake Jester and the others." She nods and runs into one of the near-by tents. Fjord meets his eyes and the wizard's lips quirk up slightly. "We may need your diplomacy, ja?" 

"Good call." He and Caleb take opposite sides of Beau and prepare for a fight.

"Hey, don't these guys look familiar?" A voice shout-whispers from in front of them. Caleb and Beau exchange a look.

"Hey, we know you're there. You aren't exactly being stealthy." Beau calls into the darkness. She sees about eight figures in the darkness.

"Shit! Lars, shut up! You're going to blow our cover!" Another voice says in the same badly hushed tone. Caleb connects his palm to his forehead and sighs. 

"If you are not going to attack, then leave. The sooner you do, the sooner we can get back to sleep." He says, mildly irritated.

"Hey, Boss, should we do as he says?" 

"No, you idiot! Just attack them!" Another grizzlier voice growls before one bandit dives at Fjord with a dagger. He raises the falchion before bringing it down in a deadly swoop across the bandit's chest, turning his battle cry into a cry of pain. Then Beau knees him in the groin, simultaneously wrenching the dagger from his grasp, stabbing him in the side with it. He's prone on the ground before Caleb could even _begin_ to cast a spell.

"Oh, no.. These guys _are_ familiar!" The same voice from before rings out now. "Boss, I really think we should retre-" His frantic voice is cut off by a choking sound.

"It _doesn't. Matter._ " 

"'Ey, Jerry's right. We tried robbin' these guys twice now!"

"Are you fucking-" Beau curses, kicking the bandit at her feet. "Are you seriously the same fucking guys from back then?"

"They don't have their purple teifling friend so maybe we can take them!" A different voice loudly whispers.

"Pretty sure your friend here is dead so if you don't want to meet the same fate, take him and leave." She kicks the bandit again and he groans. "Okay not dead yet, but very hurt." The sound of a slap comes from next to her and she sees Caleb's hand once again connecting to his forehead as he lets out a long exasperated sigh.

"Shut up, Caleb." She whispers.

"Just- Come into the light. If you guys want a fight, we can give you one but none of you are going to survive this time." Fjord says. 

"Hey, third time is the charm, ja?" Fjord glares at him.

"Who's your new Leader? Obviously Zenny isn't here. Trevor sure as hell isn't." Beau speaks again before a Dwarf man comes into the fire light and raises his hand. He's got a scar beneath his right eye and looks much tougher than the bandits' previous leader.

"That'd be me." His voice comes out gruff and scratchy. Around that time Caduceus steps out of his tent with the rest of the Nein in tow.

"Hey, just think about this. If you just leave now, then we won't have to hurt anyone." The man looks like he thinks for a moment before scowling. Caduceus sighs and walks up to the bandits' fallen comrade. His eyes go wide when the firbolg touches him on the shoulder. Soon, the body begins to turn a dull gray-green, his mouth opening wide in a silent scream of terror. The skin starts sagging with decay as mushrooms and other decomposing fungi grow and begin to eat away at their remains. 

"Oh my god, he just fuckin' melted Mikey.." One of the bandits retches and the others take a few steps back. The Dwarf only seems angrier. 

"You lookin' down on us are ya?" His scar twists angrily with a vicious sneer. "Not anymore! Not if my name is Reginalo Dunkirk! Men, ATTACK!!!" Not a single one of them advances.

" _Reginalo?_ " Jester snickers. His face twists more.

"Gah! Shut up!" He pulls out a serrated black short sword and lunges at Beau who just stands there with her arms crossed. Before he can get to her, a large form of black, gray, and white shoots in between them, deflecting his blade with her great sword.

"I wouldn't do that if you know what's good for you." Yasha says, throwing him off his balance. 

"Men! What the hell are you doing?!" Beau laughs.

"Dude. Your friends are long gone. They took one look at Caduceus and _booked it_. They're the smart ones, obviously." Upon hearing this, he spins around to look at them. All he sees are five bodies sprinting off into the darkness.

" _Sorry, boss! We learned our lesson the first two times!_ " One of them calls behind him.

"Sometimes being a leader means knowing when to back down. Learned that one only recently." Fjord said, crossing his arms across his chest. Caleb summons fire to his hand.

"Though if you would like to meet the same fate as Trevor, I would be happy to oblige." Regi looks at Caleb. Then Fjord. Then Yasha and Caduceus who both tower over the grizzled dwarf man. He looks back at the flame that burns in the palm of Caleb's hand, scowls at them, and promptly turns on his heel and _runs_.

"Wait!! Let me give you a tattoo!!!" Jester calls out but Regi was _not_ having it. "Well that was underwhelming." She says wielding her giant spiked lollipop, pouting. "Caduceus touched a guy on the shoulder and they all ran away.." She walks to the edge of camp and throws the lollipop as hard as she can. With a thump and a satisfying yelp from Reginalo, she laughs. 

"That's what you get for fucking with the Mighty Nein!" She calls out.

"Wait! My turn!" Nott says coming up from behind her.

"Nott, wai-" Caleb is cut off by the sound of a crossbow releasing two darts simultaneously. "Oh gods.." 

Metal embeds into Regi's armor and he cries out. 

_"What the fuck?!"_ Jester and Nott laugh hard and high five. Fjord just sighs.

"Was that really necessary guys?"

"Hey, they woke me up in the middle of the night! Of course I'm going to get at least one hit in!" Jester crosses her arms across her chest and tilts her chin up defiantly. Beau claps her on the back.

"Nice one Jester. You too Nott." She turns to Caleb. "You were pretty useless this time." 

"Ah, Beauregard. Always such a charmer." She elbows him in the gut and Caleb doubles over, coughing.

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm going back to sleep." Yasha says, placing a hand on Beau's shoulder before turning back to her tent.

"Hey, did you guys see that shit?" She whispers. "She totally wants me." Caleb rolls his eyes.

"Come on, Nott. Back to bed." With that, Jester and Caduceus take the final watch and they all return to their respective tents.

 

* * *

 

Thankfully, Jester is significantly less bored than yesterday. Still, that doesn't stop her from starting a game of _Would you rather_ while they embark on the final stretch to Hupperdook.

"Beau!" Jester says suddenly breaking the silence. Beau jumps and turns to her with wide eyes. "Would you rather have to walk for days through a _really_ stupid dark tunnel, or live on the ocean for another four months?" Fjord clears his throat but doesn't say anything of it. 

"Tunnel. Why?"

"Caduceus!"

"Yeah Jester?" 

"Would you rather never be able to drink tea again or have to eat meat?" 

"Oh, that's a tough one.. I think that I'd just find something else to drink." She nods in consideration before turning to Caleb with the worst kind of smirk. He raises his book higher over his face in an attempt to hide. He fails. Jester places a hand on the book and pushes it downwards, forcing him to keep eye contact.

" _Caleb~_ " The tone of her voice worries him.

"Yes, Jester?" He asks, contemplating his escape as soon as she asks something too personal. He could always make Frumpkin appear on Fjord and hijack his horse if he needs to. He could even jump off of the cart and run off into the woods...

"Would you rather kiss Fjord or me?" He blinks at her.

_"Was?"_

"Jester what kind of a question is that?" Fjord interjects from his horse. 

" _Shushushushush!!!_ " She says with a grin. "Let him answer!" There is no winning in this game.

"I- uh.. Frumpkin."

" _Noooo,_ Caleb you have to choose between _us_!" He looks around him frantically.

"I- uh- Nott, help me put here!" He pleads, meeting her eyes. Judging by the interested look on her face, he knows that he's on his own. 

"I don't know, Caleb. I'm pretty curious too. I like this game!" She grins at Jester.

" _Right?!_ Isn't it just _so_ fun?" Jester's eyes grow serious. "Answer the question _Caleb_." He looks between Nott and Jester and Fjord. 

"You- you're both very nice." Jester's eyes glint mischievously. 

"What if it was Fjord or _Molly_ who would you kiss then?" There's a weird pain in Caleb's chest when she mentions his name. It had been so long since any of them had talked about their old friend and the dreams have started to reopen some old wounds. He glances at Yasha who seems to feel a similar way. He doesn't want to answer but he knows that she'll never move away from the topic unless he chooses. Besides, Mollymauk died quite some time ago so its not like there's any harm in choosing him. At the very least, Fjord will be relieved. It couldn't possibly backfire. Besides, if Molly really wanted to kiss someone, he could do it. Regardless of gender or humanoid. It would take a very strong resolve to say no to someone like him..

"M-Molly.." Fjord lets out a relieved sigh. At least he'd predicted that much.

"True. Who didn't want to kiss Molly." Jester says matter-of-factly. Beau raises her hand. "Yeah, yeah disaster lesbian of course you didn't want to kiss Molly." She waves her off. Seemingly satisfied with Caleb's response, she moves on to her next victim. It's safe to say that by the time they all finally made it to Hupperdook at midday, everyone was grateful to be out of the line of questioning from their bubbly blue friend. Except for maybe Nott and Caduceus.

Getting into town, they leave the horses and cart with the stable hands, get rooms in the Blushing Tankard and go off to find a gift for Kiri before their visit. Caleb leaves Nott with Jester and sets off on a mission to hunt down a book store. Meanwhile, Caduceus goes off on his own to look for some interesting spices and teas. They would all meet up back at the inn for dinner and the Hour of Honor.

Caduceus is drawn to a collection of herbs when a figure slams into him, unintentionally throwing themselves to the ground with a resounding _Oof!_

 

* * *

 

Mollymauk wakes up with tears streaming down his cheeks. Yasha. Lovely, perfect Yasha. His closest and most dear friend. Gustav and the others in the Circus may have found him the last time he popped out of the ground, but it was Yasha who truly saved him. The back of his throat aches as he remembers, _truly_ remembers her. The shadow to his light. The storm in his sky. Tall, beautiful, _wonderful_ Yasha. Through the tears he laughs. Genuinely, for the first time since he could remember. His head is thrown back and his hands cover his face as he grins and laughs with absolute joy and gratitude for the Moonweaver's gift. At least he _thinks_ that the one in his dreams is the Moonweaver. Regardless, he couldn't care less if he never had any of his other memories returned so long as he could find Yasha again. Especially when he has this feeling that wherever she is, the Mighty Nein won't be too far behind. 

An alarming thought snaps him out of his delirium. He had died before. Who knows how many times before even _that._ No. He physically shakes off the thought. He doesn't give a shit. Whoever he was before Yasha. Before the circus. Before the Mighty Nein. Fuck that guy. He felt this way the last time, and that shit still stands. Whatever got him buried haphazardly in the woods before, doesn't matter. That path. That person. Whatever goals that lead him there. All of it was burned to ash. 

Then he thinks of the ones who buried him properly. Left a sword and his important little trinkets just in case he came back to life again. Left a note so he could find them. Marked his grave to honor him. He can only remember Yasha, but these people are the ones he wants to find again. His past was burned away once more. But this time he's going to rise. Like a Phoenix from the ashes.

It didn't take long for him to pack up his things again and for the last time, join his friends for breakfast. Macleroy blushes when he catches is eyes and quickly turns his head back to his wife who is _surely_ making fun of him for it. Poor guy. Zoe will never let him live this down. The thought sends a grin to his lips.

Eating and conversing. Laughing and winking. The morning goes by far too quickly. As eager as he is to find his family, leaving this one, however short their time together was, is proving to be extremely difficult for many reasons.  
The first being that he grew attached to these people who took him in when he needed someone the most. The second being that he's terrified. Molly would never admit it verbally, but he doesn't know how to be alone. According to his restored memories, he only ever woke up alone, wandering around the forest before being found by a large group of people. Not necessarily the best, most moral-bound group, but a group nonetheless. For the first time in his memory, he's going to be completely alone. 

He shoves that thought into the far corners of his mind, as it seems he does with anything relatively unpleasant to ruminate upon, and he distracts himself with druidcraft instead. Two hundred torn, mended, and burned leaves and about three teifling - bird/squirrel conversations later, it was time to set off, officially, towards Hupperdook. He takes his regular seat with Marley, Laurelai, Zoe, and Telisa and the carts start rolling.

Laurelai writes in a small journal with a quill and ink while Marley shows Molly some more embroidery tricks. Embroidery. Suddenly something clicks in Molly's mind and he groans loudly in disappointment.

"Hey, you're doing great! If you're getting frustrated then you can take a break okay?" Marley smiles at him and places a hand on his shoulder as he slumps over his swath of fabric.

"No, its not that.. I just realized that I don't have my damn coat anymore!" He puts the needle and fabric down on his lap before dragging his hands over his face with another groan.

"Mollymauk, you didn't have a coat. Just the tapestry remember?" Zoe says furrowing her brows. 

"No, I know that. Last night I was given a vision and a lot of my memories were returned. I had this really amazing burgundy coat with a rainbow of embroidered religious symbols and cool stuff like that. I had it back when I was with the circus but its gone now. For some reason it was not buried with me. Damn it. I really liked that coat.." Laurelai looks up from her journal for the first time since they woke up this morning.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say that you were in a circus?" She looks him over. "Yeah, actually, I'm not all that surprised."

"A carnival really. The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities. I told fortunes, read tarot, juggled my twin scimitars, and brought people in to see our shows. Damn it! I'm also missing one of my blades! Where the hell am I going to find another Carnival glass sword all the way out here? Dying is really inconvenient!" The three of them exchange a quick look before breaking out into hearty laughter. "Hey, I'm being serious!" He tries and fails to keep a straight face as he slaps Zoe lightly with the back of his hand.

"Sorry, Molly, but I can't exactly feel too horribly about something like this. You've got some memories back! I'm so happy for you!" Zoe says as soon as her laughter subsides. She claps him hard on the back and he pitches slightly forward with a cough. Telisa takes this opportunity to grab onto one of his horns, grabbing at a nearby leaf. 

"Telisa, darling, I would very much like my horn back if you don't mind." He chuckles. Before he is able to remove her hand, she plucks the leaf off of the small branch and releases his horn. She giggles happily, waving the leaf around in the wind.

"Telisa no! You can't just take leaves off of peop- okay yeah the more I say, the more absurd it sounds. That didn't hurt you did it?" Molly sits up and shakes his head, tickling Telisa under the chin with the tuft of fur at the end of his tail, getting a high pitched, happy giggle from her.

"No, not at all. Think of my horns like finger nails and hair. It doesn't hurt if you cut them, but if they're ripped out at the root it's going to hurt like a bitch." Mollymauk thinks for a moment before continuing. "Although breaking off the horn itself after a certain point would hurt. It is, after all, growing out of my head and I can feel with them the closer you get to the base." Zoe takes this into consideration and smiles.

"Well I'm glad that she didn't hurt you." He boops Telisa's nose and smiles at her.

"Ah, she could never hurt me." Laurelai smiles softly to herself and continues writing in her journal.

The rest of the trip to Hupperdook was spent talking about Yasha, the circus, and all of his ridiculous exploits that he somehow got away with unscathed within the two years of his life. While he tells his stories, true and otherwise, he practices stitching specific images into his practice fabric. A couple different variants of snowflakes, the moons in their respective hues, the sun, and a little red cardinal.

The caravan parks in the woods just off of the road a short distance away from town.

"We're only going to stay here for one night before we head deeper into Silberquel Ridge. You are more than welcome to stay and continue to travel with us, Mollymauk." Caspar says with a note of sadness. Molly chuckles a little bit.

"Thank you, but I can't. I'm afraid that if I don't go off alone now, then I won't be able to bring myself to leave you lot." Caspar looks at the ground for a moment before meeting his eyes once again with a renewed smile.

"Alright. Before you go though, and you are not allowed to refuse," He claps Molly on the back. "You will have a bit of an entourage going into Hupperdook. Just Zoe, Marley, Laurelai, and Macleroy. They're going to do some shopping for us and make sure that you find a place to stay while you're in town. Also I want you to have this." Caspar removes a pouch from his belt. The contents _chink_ together when placed in his hand. 

"Inside of that is two hundred gold pieces and fifty silver pieces." Mollymauk's eyes widen.

"Cas, I really can't accept this much. I like coin as much as the next guy but this is for the caravan. I haven't done anything to deserve this much." The older man waves him off.

"Nonsense. Everyone agreed that you should have it. Especially since you protected us all from the goblin attack." Molly tries to interject but Caspar cuts him off with a raise of the hand. "Besides, I already told you that you couldn't refuse." He chuckles and shakes his head in defeat.

"As long as you're insisting, I couldn't possibly. Thank you Caspar. Really. For everything that you have done for me these past few days. I promise that I'll repay you one day." He grins at Molly. 

"My boy, don't worry about anything like that. Just live your life and find your family. If by some chance of fate you find _our_ family again, then let lady fate lead us." Caspar wraps his arms around Molly in a tight embrace. "You're always welcome here, Mollymauk Tealeaf of the Mighty Nein." Molly smiles and hugs him back wondering vaguely if this is what it feels like to have a father.

 

* * *

 

Molly says goodbye to the caravan. The women he traveled with that first day take turns hugging him. A few of the men he had gotten to know at the farewell party pat him on the back, "The next time you kiss a man, try to find someone prettier than _Macleroy._ " One said jovially. To which, Molly just turns around with a devilish smirk and a flirtatious wink.

"Why? Are you offering, Jesse?" The lavender teifling was more than a little proud of the blush that spread across the man's cheeks. The others laugh and jostle him around in a teasing manner. Molly then proceeds to kiss Jesse on the cheek, putting his brain a bit out of commission as the teifling walks away towards Telisa.

Molly kisses her on the forehead and scoops her up in a hug as she cries.

"It's okay Telisa, I'll visit you one day, I promise. But for now, here." He removes one of his gold bracelets from his wrist, and Druidcrafts a small living vine with tiny leaves that wraps around it, placing it gently in her hands. She clutches it in her small fingers and he reaches out to wipe away her tears with his thumbs. "Grow up to be just like your mother little one." He says quietly.

With that, the five of them ride four of the caravan's horses into Hupperdook, Molly riding on the back of Macleroy's horse, wrapping his arms around his waist; the tapestry of the platinum dragon rolled up and secured behind Laurelai. Then they get into town.

From what Mollymauk could remember, he had never been to Hupperdook. At first glance, he could see why. The city itself is cool in the sense that it is built into the side of a mountain, but it's so.. _industrial_. At midday, everyone in the city is hard at work. Of the things that he wishes to find and do while he's here, finding a secondary blade and a tailor for his tapestry, he feels that finding the right shop will take a lot of searching. 

"Mollymauk, would you like us to come with you when you check into the inn?" Macleroy asks, handing him his ridiculous and ultimately impractical tapestry. When he bought this he must have been inspired to really mess with someone. It just feels like something he would do. Even now, he could think of about ten uses for such a thing. Number one on his list, having it turned into a coat so that he could embroider the hell out of it and make it colorful again. He _really_ misses his coat..

"Thank you, darling but I feel that I can do that much on my own. Though I would not be opposed to walking around with you all while you shop." He tosses the tapestry over his shoulder. Zoe places a hand on the other.

"Then lets do that. Do you want to drop that off at the inn?" She asks, pointing to the roll of fabric on his shoulder.

"No, I want to see about getting it made into a coat." Marley laughs.

"Good luck finding a place like that _here_."

"Yeah, rainbow man, you're better off just waiting until you get to Zedash for something like that." Laurelai says, putting her journal into her coat pocket. He shrugs in response, the movement limited with a seven foot tapestry on one side.

"You've just got to know where to look. After all, simply talking to the right person can get you a dictionary in a whorehouse."

"Wow, Molly. That is a sentence that really came out of your mouth." Macleroy says with wide eyes. "Literally only _you_ could get away with something like that. Honestly, I'm not even all that surprised." Molly laughs.

"Well when someone looks the way I do, they are almost _expected_ to be a little strange. So when I say surprising things, no one is _truly_ surprised. Its all a matter of smiling through the stereotypes, and moving along side them."

"Well, don't get too carried away, _oh, strange one._ " Zoe laughs and elbows him in the arm. He winks at her.

"I will make no such promises."

 

With that, the horses are left with the stable hands and they head off into the shopping district. Eventually, after talking to a series of blacksmiths, he learned that one of their daughter's is a very talented seamstress. When he spoke to her, she decides that she could have it done within the week for 80 gold. When he heard this, he was able to convince her to have it done by tomorrow afternoon for 120 gold. She decides that she is up for the challenge and will do her very best. So she took his measurements and began working.

After that, it was time for his friends to return to the caravan. 

"So this is goodbye?" Zoe asks, as they all turn to face Molly at the gates of Hupperdook after they finish strapping their baskets of supplies to the horses.

"Not forever but definitely for a while." Zoe wraps him up in a hug.

"You'd better not die again before you get the chance or else I'm going to kill you." Her voice is tight and he feels warm tears on his neck. He hugs her back.

"Cross my heart."

He hugs Macleroy next, before Mac pulls him into a quick kiss, pulling away with a blush, avoiding eye contact. Molly stares at him with a surprised grin.

" _Oh, Macleroy! Darling!_ " Mac punches Molly in the shoulder weakly, glaring at the ground, his blush betraying him.

"N-now we're even!"

"Of course we are." Molly grins, winking at Zoe who is laughing hysterically through her tears.

"I'll skip the kiss, but I'll give you this." Laurelai places the journal she had been writing in during the trip in his hands. "I wrote down a bunch of spells and what you need for them. Practice while you're away. When you come back, I want you to show me what you've learned." Molly hugs her tightly, much to her discomfort. She hugs him back with an awkward pat.

Finally, there was Marley. Sweet, Dwarven Cleric, Marley. She hugs him tightly and whispers a few words in another language. A soft silver glow surrounds the two of them for a moment before fading softly.

"I cast _Bless_ on you. Please be safe on your journey. The spell itself may not last too long but my feelings will. May Sarenrae be with you and lead you to your friends. He hugs her again before backing up to face them all together one more time.

"Thank you. All of you. In my past, sincerity wasn't exactly my primary goal but at least right now, I mean every word I say. Thank you and I will see you all again one day." Then they left. 

 

* * *

 

From what Mollymauk could remember, he'd never actually had to say goodbye to someone he cared about.

The circus itself was a traveling cesspool of assholes who just wanted an excuse to use their weirdness to make a profit. No one felt obligated to tell their secrets, and Yasha was the only person he had ever gotten genuinely close to. And whenever _she_ left, she'd always come back on her own time.

So saying goodbye to these four _actually decent_ people is honestly much harder than he would ever admit out loud. Maybe to Yasha, but she's not here. 

So here he is, all alone. Really, for the first time since he clawed his way out of his grave, in the absolute most colorless city in the Dwendalian Empire. So, to attempt to fill the ever growing void of loneliness in the pit of his stomach, Molly decides to do the only thing he _can_ do in this situation. _Shop._

Heading to the market, he comes across a building titled, _"The Shusters Butcher"_. As he stands outside debating whether or not he wants to check it out, he hears an excited voice from behind him yell, "Welcome to the Mighty Nein!" and in a few moments, a child-size black bird, a kenku, runs into him, hugging him around the waist before saying again, "Welcome to the Mighty Nein!" 

For a moment all Molly can think is, _What the fuck just happened?!_ but then he is able to process what this large bird just said. 

"Wait, you know the Mighty Nein?" She nods excitedly.

"Do you know me?" 

"Yes, I'm very sweet!" Molly grins. 

"Are the others here?" She tilts her head to the side.

"Do you know me?" She mimics in his voice. Molly gets to her level.

"Sorry, I don't have my memories. I couldn't even recognize the Mighty Nein. What's your name?"

"I am Kiri!" Molly smiles at her.

"Well, Kiri, its nice to meet you again. I'm Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to my friends. But I guess you already knew that huh?"

"I'm Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to my friends." She nods. Somehow, even with a beak she still manages to smile. 

"Kiri! Where did you- Oh." An older girl approaches with three other children following close behind her. "You look different from the last time we saw you." She says. Molly stands up, patting Kiri on the head.

"I'm afraid that I lost my memories so I can't really say the same. Sorry about that." She looks him over skeptically. 

"So you don't know who we are?" He shrugs.

"Afraid not. Though if you could direct me to an inn I would really appreciate that." She nods. 

"Just keep heading down this road and you'll eventually come across The Blushing Tankard. You'll know it when you see it." He nods as Kiri chases his tail around much like Telisa would. He couldn't help but smile. 

"Thank you. Before I go, what did I do the last time you saw me?" The four of them shifted a little. 

"Well first, you and your friends participated in the Hour of Honor at the Tankard and we kind of stole from you. But you found us the next day, we gave you back the money and y'all helped get our parents out of jail. Then you left Kiri in our care because you lot did dangerous work." He nods and smiles.

"I'm glad that it all worked out in the end. Thanks again." He pats Kiri on the head one more time before walking away. After a moment, he hears little claws hitting the ground and a taloned hand takes his and he looks at her and Kiri says, in his voice, "Take care of them." He smiles down at her.

"I will."

"I will." She mimics. Then she chirps and runs back to her family.

 

* * *

 

In Molly's dream scenario, the market is a bustling social hub full of colors, shiny things and diversity. In Molly's reality, the market is the exact opposite. The only thing that _might_ have been interesting or worth looking at is the different spices. So that's what he does. He looks at the spices intently hoping to see something interesting. Of course, since he was never one to cook in the circus, he has no idea what he's looking at. But he just keeps staring at the spices. And walking. And walking. And then he accidentally slams into a wall of flesh and fur and _moss?_ before collapsing to the ground with a resounding _"Oof!"_

"Sorry about that." The the wall spoke, bending over with an outstretched hand. With a physical shock, Mollymauk realizes that he _knows_ this voice. But as he look up at this pastel firbolg's face, he knows for a fact that he has no idea who this man is. Not even in his memories from the circus. And yet.. Mollymauk has to shake himself out of his thoughts, noticing just how long he'd been staring at that hand. So he accepts it, dusting himself off once he's back on his feet.

"No, no. That was entirely my fault. I really wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The cow man looks him over and smiles.

"The name is Caduceus Clay. It is a pleasure to meet you, colorful person." Molly finds himself smiling back at him.

"Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to my friends." Some unnamed emotion crosses his eyes at the mention of his name.

"Tealeaf, huh? Hey, would you like to come by my room for tea? I grew it myself. Although, a friend of mine told me that I should give a bit of warning before offering it. I _do_ grow my tea in the cemetery back home. My personal favorite is the Thompson family but I ran out of my supply of that one a few months ago." 

"Dead people tea, huh?" Molly thinks a moment. "Interesting. Unexpected. Definitely not something I've tried before." He grins up at him, his tail whipping around excitedly. "That sounds delightful. Lead the way Mr. Clay." 

Apparently, the inn that Caduceus is staying at is the Blushing Tankard. That girl was right. Even without Mr. Clay's direction, Molly would have known it when he saw it.

"My friends are still out doing some shopping so its just me right now." He says, holding the door open for Molly. "We're only here for a couple of days visiting another friend of theirs."

"Sounds interesting. I'm actually heading to another city to find some friends of my own." Molly takes a seat in the middle of the floor as Caduceus grabs a small box from the corner of the room. He sits across from the teifling setting the box to his side, placing a tiny portable stove top in between them. 

"Friends are good. Friends are very good. They keep us grounded and a little insane but also very happy." He pulls out a small clay pot that is white with many tiny pink flowers that match the ones embroidered onto his sleeves, and sets it on the tiny stove, magically filling it with water. He then starts a tiny flame beneath the teapot before turning back to the box 

"Believe me, I'm usually the one driving my friends insane." He laughs. 

Caduceus pulls out two teacups. One carved out of solid white and pink stone with turquoise moss growing up the side of it, and another made up of a deep red, iridescent carnival glass with gold peacock feather embellishments laid into it. As expected, Molly absolutely adores it.

"This is a _lovely_ teacup!" He says, excitedly picking it up to examine it closer. Caduceus grins back at his guest.

"I knew you would like it the second I saw you. I knew that I would need it for _someone_ but I didn't know who they would be or when I would meet them. I think it was meant for you, my friend." Molly's eyes go a little wide and he gingerly sets the cup back down in front of him.

"I couldn't possibly-"

"When I bought it, I felt like I would know what to do with it when the time came. So consider it yours." Caduceus lifts the lid of the teapot. "Would you like the Saeleen family or the Knox family?"

He smiles up at him, leaning forward with his hands folded beneath his chin. "Surprise me." His tail swishes behind him, hitting the bed post a few times. The firbolg chuckles putting the tea leaves into the pot, replacing the lid..

"I like you." 

"Well of course. _Everyone_ likes me. Even when they try to hate me. _Especially_ when they try to hate me." Mollymauk shifts into a lounging position, holding up his head with one arm while the other is draped comfortably along his side. His tail curls slightly around one of his ankles.

"I can only imagine why." Caduceus says lightly. They talk for an hour over two pots of tea before Molly decides that he should probably check into his own room before there aren't any left and he ends up sleeping on the street. 

"Well, Mr. Clay, I best be off. Its strange. I feel kind of sad saying goodbye to you." Caduceus stands up and hands him the teacup.

"Don't worry. I know we will see each other again one day. Fate is a funny thing, Mr. Mollymauk." Molly dries out the empty cup with prestidigitation and slips the cup in his pouch of special things.

"Until we meet again then." They exchange a warm hug and Molly walks out the door and down the stairs of the tavern. 

"Good evening, my dear. You wouldn't happen to have any rooms available would you?" When the beautiful dwarven woman turned to face him, her face lit up. 

"Oh, it's you! Hello, hello! Welcome back! For you dear, of course I have a few rooms left. How long will you be staying, Love?" 

"Just for the night, thank you. Please forgive me, but my memory is pretty foggy and if I'm correct, it's been quite some time since I last visited. What's your name again dear?"

"Oh it's quite alright dear. Ireena Clawmop. At your service. And you?"

"Mollymauk Tealeaf." He takes her hand and kisses the back of it. "It's a pleasure." 

After a brief discussion about the pricing of the room, she hands him the key, he hands her a few extra gold.

"I'm not sure if you'll want to participate but the hour of honor will be starting in just a few hours and it is very fun to watch if you're interested."

"I just might do that. I've nothing better to do tonight." With that, Molly orders a meal, taking a seat in the far corner, feeling that sense of bitter loneliness begin to take root once more in the pit of his stomach. He debates finding companionship for the evening but decides against it once his food comes to the table. It's his first time sleeping in a bed since he came back to life and he suspects that he's going to be out as soon as he lets his head touch the pillow.

He finishes eating and decides to at least try one more time to find the sword that he desires. As he leaves, across the room, his eyes catch a bit of movement. A cheerful blue teifling is forcing an attractive half orc man to dance with her. He laughs a little at the display, wondering if anyone in the Mighty Nein will dance with him. 

 

As expected, no matter who he talks to, no one in town would even be _willing_ to commission a sword made out of glass. _"That is so impractical! metal is obviously the best material for a sword! Go ask someone else!"_ After hearing that from every single person in this town, Molly gives up. This time, Marley was right. This just isn't the right town to find what he needs. So he just returns to the inn, hoping that he could possibly get the same seat he had from before. Normally, he would be more than happy to participate in a large-scale drinking contest, but he's alone and he doesn't trust that he'll wake up with his coin purse or anything else valuable by the time he wakes up the next day. It's just not worth the risk. _This time._ When he finds the Nein, he will insist that they all come here and do it together. 

Before even getting to the inn, Mollymauk's hopes of getting the same seat are immediately crushed. There is already a massive crowd filing in and he chooses not to interfere with mob mentality. So he goes with the flow of traffic. He gets jostled and pushed but when he runs into the Half-orc man from earlier, nearly throwing him to the ground, Molly catches him by the arm before he falls. Apologizing quickly before being swept away by the crowd, leaving the man looking around the room in confusion.

Once he's inside and he realizes that everyone just wants to get as close to the show as possible, securing a table isn't all that difficult. He manages to find one with both a good view of the contest, and enough out of the way that he won't be trampled by the other patrons. Over the course of the next half hour, the mob of people make it into the inn. Then suddenly, Ireena steps up on top of a table and the room erupts in cheers.

"Welcome everyone! Our teams are ready, and the Hour of Honor is ready to commence! Take your seats and lets begin!" The crowd cheers louder, bets are placed, and the people at the long table in the middle of the room begin to chug their drinks. The half orc from before, a female monk in blue, a goblin girl, a scruffy ginger, and someone in a hood are going up against five dwarves who seem to _live_ in the mines. As the hour closes, The dwarves lose and the other team wins with an eruption of cheers. 

 

* * *

 

A few hours after the competition, the tavern clears out leaving only six people in the room, the band that continues to play on a makeshift stage, Mollymauk himself, and Ireena not included. Of those who are left, the trio at the bar catches his attention. The two girls, a blue Tiefling and a goblin, are asking one of the men from the Hour of Honor, the cute, scruffy ginger one, a barrage of questions. For example, one asks, "What materials do you need to cast Haste?" Which he then replies with a slightly slurred, heavily accented "Aaa piece of licorice root~". Its honestly adorable how he drags out the answers as he says them. 

Now, he's not exactly eaves dropping per say, because the girls are very loud and the room is almost empty. But he can't help but take a specific interest in this drunken man and his friends. It just feels like this gravitational pull in his gut that makes him want to interact with them. But he doesn't. Instead, Molly just resigns to drinking at his seat in the corner of the room, watching them with an amused smirk.

After an hour of listening to the girls throw question after question at this man, all the while he's apparently getting every single one of them right, the two of them eventually leave when the half orc from before comes by and gets pulled into an embrace from the tiefling girl. The three of them look to the ginger and he just shakes his head. Then the three of them make their way upstairs, leaving him sitting alone at the bar, nursing a tankard of ale. 

Before he can stop himself, Mollymauk grabs his own tankard and approaches the man, saying nothing as he sits down in the seat next to him, sending a wink in Ireena's direction. She grins back, her cheeks pink with ale, and moves to the opposite end of the bar, cleaning a glass.

"Nice friends you've got there." Molly says, scaring the man out of his skin. Before he is able to fall out of his chair, the tiefling catches him. "Whoa there! Hey, are you okay?" When the ginger meets his eyes there are a few thing that he notices. First, they are such a piercing blue that they put the sky to shame. That may also be due to his less than sober state but they are beautiful nonetheless. The second being that there are so many emotions swirling around within them like two tiny, turbulent oceans. Shock. Pain. Confusion. And a sort of joy? The man drops his gaze and mumbles something about a dream. Mollymauk chuckles a bit, smiling at him.

"Sorry for scaring you, dear, but would you mind a dance with me?" He meets his eyes once again, now skeptical like he can't figure out the meaning behind his words. 

"You can say no if you'd like. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want t-"

"Ja." 

"I'm sorry?"

"I'll dance with you." Molly's grin reaches his ears. 

"Wait here!" He says before running to the Dwarven band. They are all sitting down on the edge of the makeshift stage having a conversation and drinking ale when he approaches. "Hello there," They all turn to him.

"So sorry to bother you. But do you think you'd be up for a couple more songs?" The four of them look at each other for an answer. They look ragged and tired and Molly almost feels bad for asking them to play longer.

"Sorry, mate. We've been playing for eight hours. We're all dead tired." 

"I'll give you five gold each." Suddenly they seem less haggard and they stand up, picking up their instruments along the way. Mollymauk grins.

"Any requests, colorful one?" One dwarf asks. The tiefling thinks a moment.

"Something slow. Maybe a bit waltz-y?" They nod. 

"No worries. Whatever you need, friend. Just let us know if that changes at any point." Molly sends a wink to them.

"Thank you." He pulls out twenty gold and puts it in their tip jar. When he glances inside, there seems to be only copper with two silver pieces. So he puts in four more gold pieces in there. Then he runs back to his dance partner, grabs him by the wrist, and drags him to the middle of the tavern. The man stumbles, practically throwing himself at Mollymauk.

"Entschuldige.." The man says quickly. Molly looks down at him and smiles, helping him back into a standing position.

"Sorry about that love, I may have gotten a bit too excited there."

"It's fine. Though I can't promise that I'll be too coordinated in my current state." The teifling's laugh rumbles deep in his chest and throat.

"Oh, darling, don't you worry. I know what I got myself into. Besides, if I'm being honest, I'm not exactly well versed in dancing but I'll do my best." Mollymauk puts his lips to the man's ear and says, just above a whisper, "Though, if you feel like you're going to collapse at any time, don't hesitate to cling to me." His lips quirk in a flirtatious smirk as he pulls back to look at him and winks. He chuckles.

"Ja. I will keep that in mind." Molly makes eye contact with the pianist and nods. He nods back and a gentle tune starts to play. Molly wraps his tail around the man's waist and pulls him close. 

Once they are close enough for Mollymauk's liking, the tail drops from Caleb's waist, whipping about happily. Molly drapes his arms over the man's shoulders the other's hands rest on his waist. Together, they sway in time to the music in a lazy circle. The teifling closes his eyes and smiles softly. He was only at his first destination on the road to Zedash but in this moment, he doesn't want to leave. In this man's embrace, he feels... happy? Safe? Comfortable? He can't quite pinpoint the exact emotions that he feels but he knows that its very warm and inviting.

Being near him is like being next to a living flame. Almost like Marley's healing touch but different. If they had met in the past, there would be no way that Molly could forget a person like this. He would never want to.

"You are a wonderful dancer." The man's Zemnian accent was thick. "I only wish that this wasn't a dream. You perfect, impossible being." Molly is only slightly taken aback by the words but its his pained expression that hits him like an arrow to the chest.

"Thank you, love. Hard to believe what is and isn't reality these days.." He says with quiet reverence. "Though your own skills are nothing to scoff at. Even while heavily intoxicated, you still manage to stay on your feet while going around in circles. It's quite impressive." The man laughs and Molly is enthralled by the sound.

"Well, I've got at least a couple more songs left in me." He says. The musicians begin another song, the flutist changing to an Ocarina. 

They dance for an hour, some songs slow paced, others faster paced. Pretty soon the two of them are dancing and laughing and having a good time. When the man suddenly stumbles, tripping into Molly once again, tired and out of breath.

"Hey, are you alright?" Mollymauk lifts up his chin with two fingers, the other arm wraps around his waist, supporting a portion of his weight to keep his dance partner standing. 

"I- I'm fine." He averts his gaze and his breathing is heavier.

"No you're not. Come on, tell me where your room is. I'll get you to bed."

"No!" Molly looks at him, surprised. "Please.." The man's expression is heartbreaking.

"I know you're a dream, but please don't let it end just yet. I'm not ready to say goodbye again." The man's words, to say the least, catch Mollymauk off guard and his heart, just beneath the scar on his chest, aches for him. Just a bit. Just enough for him to decide that sending him off to bed now would be too soon. 

"Alright," He says, kissing him on the forehead. "Then, come join me at a table. We can talk there if you'd like." The man's pained expression changes to a small sad smile.

"Ja. I'd like that."

 

They sit together in Molly's corner seat, the band having left as soon as he had given them the okay. For what feels like hours, the two of them drink ale, though not too much at this point, and tell stories of their adventures. The man poofs a cat into existence on Mollymauk's shoulder as he tells the tale of how he and his friends _accidentally_ became pirates for a few months. In return, the tiefling tells the story about how he once bullshitted an entire town into believing that he was royalty for three weeks. That makes the man laugh.

Eventually, it gets _late_ and Molly starts to realize that his dear companion is getting to be exhausted.

"As much as I have loved spending this time with you, it is very late. I can walk you to your room if you would let me?" The ginger's smile drops and that pained expression returns, making Molly's heart twist.

"Oh. Right.."

"Don't worry dear, We'll see each other again." Molly says with a smile. The man's expression becomes even more pained and he cannot meet his eyes.

"Please, Molly," he pauses for a moment. "Don't.. Don't make promises you can't keep." Mollymauk feels his throat clench with emotion and he can't bring himself to say anything for a moment. So he just nods. Finally the man places his hands on his cheeks, meeting his eyes again, giving him a small smile though the pain still remains. 

"Thank you. Tonight was.. fun. The best dream I've had in months." Molly smiles back at him, taking his hand and kissing the inside of his palm. 

"The pleasure was all mine, dear." He gives the tiefling one last sad smile before walking into his room, closing the door quietly behind him, leaving Mollymauk to stare at the door for a minute before walking down the hall to his own room. The moment he shuts the door behind him, he leans back against it and slides down, covering his face with his hands, thinking about how badly he just fucked himself. 

He takes off all of his clothes, throwing it all to the floor as he climbs into the bed. One last thought crosses his mind as he drifts off to sleep: _I don't believe that I recall telling that man my name..._ Then his consciousness drifts off into the void.

 

*** * ***

 

As Mollymauk feels himself drift off into the void, the only sound he hears is his own heartbeat. Then, thirty feet in front of him, a flame emerges from the void. A pulling sensation in his gut tells him to run to it. So he does. As he gets closer to it, he realizes that the steady heart beat that he thought was his own, is actually resonating from within this flame. He gets himself even closer and he can feel its warmth. It draws him closer. 

The inviting warmth of the flame wraps around him, imploring him to reach out. Molly touches the flame, which gladly wraps around his fingers, creeping up his wrist to his arm, reaching all the way up to his chest. The heat is overwhelming but not painful. It touches his heart and he feels his own heartbeat become one with that of the flame. A single tear falls from his cheek, sizzling out into the flame. 

Then with a flash of bright light, the flame is gone and the void returns along with the cold. Only the heartbeat remains. Then the woman's gentle voice rings out.

 

_My lovely Moonbeam. You are much closer than you think. You are almost there, I promise._

 

The void goes silent once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Entschuldige_ = _"Sorry / Please excuse me"_ (I believe<3)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey, Caleb," She says. "Don't worry about it. Even _you_ are allowed to forget things after getting _suuuper_ fucking drunk!" Caleb sighs. Caduceus takes the opportunity to refill Caleb's teacup.
> 
> "Here you go, Mr.Caleb. You seem to be having a rough time so I just added a little honey." The wizard looks at him and smiles softly.
> 
> "Thank you, Caduceus." Cad smiles back and nods. Caleb takes a sip of his tea in hopes of distracting himself from the amazing dream that weighs on his heart like an anchor. It doesn't work of course, but it certainly tastes good. "Who is this today?" Caleb asks before taking another sip. 
> 
> "The Adam's Family. It's a darker brew than most but I find that its strangeness tends to help against hangovers."
> 
> "But you don't drink. How do you know its effects on hangovers?" Beau interjects, holding her cup by the rim rather than the perfectly good handle. Caduceus shrugs.
> 
> "My sister, Clarabelle, used to brew her own moonshine." There is a collective _"Aahh..."_ of understanding from the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a seat and buckle up kids because this is going to be a long ride. <3

The morning sun's golden glow shines through Caleb's window. As the rays of light land upon his face, turning his hair to strands of shimmering gold, his eyes snap open and looking up at the ceiling with eyes wide, he only has a single question to break the morning silence: _"How did I even_ get _here?"_

 

"So _Caleb_ ," Jester says, stuffing a doughnut in her mouth, "Wharf did you do whan we weft?" Caleb chokes on his tea, which Caduceus graciously placed in front of him only a moment ago. _This will help with the hangover. Don't want to be feeling bad when we see your friend._

He remembers everything that happened before and after the Hour of Honor. He can remember every question that Jester and Nott had assaulted him with along with how he was able to answer every single one of them correctly. He can remember the moment that Fjord showed up, spiriting away the two girls and leaving him to continue drinking by himself. Then... he passed out? He must have fallen asleep at the bar because the next and last thing that he remembers from last night is the best dream he's had in a long time.

Mollymauk felt so _real_. He was that mote of color and energy and light, which he had grown so fond of, personified. He was as beautiful as he had been in life and just as charming. They danced, they talked, they drank, they traded stories. The longer the dream went on, the more real it felt. That, of course, is an impossible notion, he soon realized as logic shook out that hope like a dirty rug. As desperately as Caleb wanted the dream to be his reality, Molly is dead. Still. It was nice to lie to himself for a while as he got to pretend that the man in front of him was real. Beautiful, impossible Mollymauk, complete with warmth in his skin and life in his eyes...

"I... don't know.."

He doesn't want to tell anyone about this dream. Frankly, they couldn't get it out of him if they had a knife to his throat and crystals in his arms. It's far too special. Too close to the heart. 

As this thought crosses his mind, Caleb pauses. He groans, rubbing his hands over his face. This realization hits him like a glaive to the chest. It's literally like looking at an image of a close friend, who died, every single day and thinking about them and all of your memories of that friend and then going, _"Oh. Well, fuck. I guess I'm going to have_ this _on my conscience for all eternity, marked under: **Things that could have been if only I didn't have my head up my ass.**_

"Hey, Caleb," She says. "Don't worry about it. Even _you_ are allowed to forget things after getting _suuuper_ fucking drunk!" Caleb sighs. Caduceus takes the opportunity to refill Caleb's teacup.

"Here you go, Mr.Caleb. You seem to be having a rough time so I added a little honey to it this time." The wizard looks at him and smiles softly.

"Thank you, Caduceus." Cad smiles back and nods. Caleb takes a sip of his tea in hopes of distracting himself from the amazing dream that weighs on his heart like an anchor. It doesn't work of course, but it certainly tastes good. "Who is this today?" Caleb asks before taking another sip. 

"The Adam's Family. It's a darker brew than most but I find that its strangeness tends to help against hangovers."

"But you don't drink. How do you know its effects on hangovers?" Beau interjects, holding her cup by the rim rather than the perfectly good handle. Caduceus shrugs.

"My sister, Clarabelle, used to brew her own moonshine." There is a collective _"Aahh..."_ of understanding from the table. 

"Aanyway~" Fjord says. "As much as I love all this.. chit-chat over tea," He rubs a hand over his chin. "Don't we have a bird child to uh, hang out with?" Jester's face lights up.

_"Kiriii!!!"_ Nott looks at Fjord.

"Hey, I've thinking about something,"

"Yeah, Nott?"

"Why didn't we just see Kiri yesterday and make the Shusters give us a place to stay? Don't you think we could have saved _a lot_ of money that way? Why did we wait until today to visit Kiri? It's not like we really had anything else to do yesterday?" Everyone goes completely silent and Fjord puts his palm over his eyes. Caduceus begins gathering all of the, now empty, teacups. 

"Oh gods..." He says under his breath. 

"Hey, guys," Beau says looking at everyone at the table. "Are we stupid? Like are we actually _fucking_ dumb? Is this really what we are? Has the salt water gotten to our brains or something?"

"Wow, we're really dumb you guys." Jester says with an amused lilt to her voice. "Well!" She jumps out of her seat, her chair violently screeching against the floor. "We should not make Kiri wait any longer! I'm sure she missed me a lot!" 

With that, the Mighty Nein make their way over to the Shuster's Butcher. A small tin bell dings loudly as Jester slams open the door to the Butcher shop. 

 

_"HELLO, SHUSTERS! IT IS JESTER! I AM HERE TO PLAY WITH YOUR BIRD!"_

She announces loudly. The gnomish man behind the counter jumps out of his skin, almost chopping off his own fingers rather than the slab of meat that he is preparing for sale.

" _Jeeze!_ Come on, Jester, this isn't that big of a place!" Beau complains loudly, covering one ear.

"Jes, remember that this is a place of business." Fjord says in a normal tone of voice. "Pardon my friends. We're looking for Kiri. We just came to- ah, say hey while we are in town."

Wallace Shuster's face seems to light up when he realizes who just, burst through their door.

"Oh, it's you! Well, hello! How have you all been?" He sets down his knife and wipes his hands off on a towel before walking around the counter.

"We have been good," Jester says, "We went to the ocean for a _looong_ time and then we traveled around a lot. I saw my mama, and we're just having _so_ much fun." 

"That's good to hear. It seems you've got a new face here. I don't believe we've met." Wallace strains his neck to look up at Caduceus who is currently standing at the back of the group, watching silently.

"Hi there. The names' Caduceus Clay, pleasure to make your acquaintance." Caduceus bends forward, extending a hand to him. Wallace takes it but the difference in size is almost comical.

"Wallace Shuster. Nice to meet you." He looks around a bit more. "There seems to be one missing as well. That real colorful one." Everyone exchanges sad looks. 

"Y-yeah. Um-" Caleb swallows hard, "He- ah, he didn't make it.." Mr. Shuster gives them a sad, understanding look.

"I see." he pauses. "Well, I'm sorry for your loss. Anyway, you said you we're looking for Kiri?" He looks to Jester and she nods. He gives them a smile. "She should be in the house playing with Layla, Gail, Austin and Jude. You're all more than welcome to go on back there while I finish up my work here."

"Thank you." Fjord says before they all head out to the house, leaving behind the sound of knife through meat and a quiet sigh.

Jester opens the door to the house a lot quieter than she had previously. 

_"Kiri~?"_ She sings. There is a curious _chirrrup_ from behind the door. When Kiri sees Jester, she seems to light up. Her feathers ruffle and she runs to the tiefling, hugging her tight. 

"I am Kiri!" Tears pour down Jester's cheeks as she hugs her close. 

"Kiri! I missed you so much!!!" She's kneeling on the floor now, her tail whipping wildly as the Shuster children watch the scene before them. "Have you been a good girl?"

"Yes, I'm very sweet!"

"Oh, I knew you would be! Did you make any friends?" She nods excitedly. "That's good! We have a new friend too! His name is Caduceus!" Jester gestures to the firbolg behind her and he smiles softly, squatting down as close to eye level as possible.

"Hi there, Kiri. I'm Caduceus. I've just been-uh, traveling with everyone here for a while now and I've heard a lot about you." For a while she just stares up at him in awe, her feathers ruffling a bit. Eventually, she seems to smile and she runs up to hug him.

"This means we are friends." She says in Caleb's voice. Caduceus hugs her back with a soft smile, setting his staff on the floor.

"I only met Kiri today but if anything happened to her I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself.." For a moment, everyone just stares at him. "I'm joking of course." There seems to be a sigh of relief from the kids.

"Oh. _Ha!_ I get it!" Beau says laughing. Fjord covers his eyes with a single hand. _"What?"_ She asks, glaring at him. He just shakes his head at her. 

"Welcome to the Mighty Nein!" She cheers, pulling out of the hug.

Eventually, Wallace and Gilda Shuster join them, preparing lunch for everyone while Caduceus makes the tea. They spend hours with Kiri and her family. While they eat, they all share stories of their own individual adventures over the past months. The entire time, Caleb doesn't really feel... _present_. It feels vaguely like he's floating, only going through the motions. Even Beau has started to notice.

"Hey, Caleb," She says, setting down her teacup. "You doin' alright, buddy? You seem pretty out of it today." He blinks at her for a second.

"I- ja, no. I am fine. Just thinking about stuff." She nods slowly, giving him a look that clearly says, _Whatever you say, Widogast but we are going to have a talk later._ He sighs, deciding that he should try to put forth a better effort when it comes to appearing okay. 

"Hey, Kiri," He says. She looks at him with a curious head tilt and a soft _Chirrup_. He can't help but smile. "Remember this?" Caleb snaps and Frumpkin appears in her lap and she floofs up again before starting to hug and pet him. Frumpkin rolls onto his back in Kiri's lap and wiggles at her a little bit. "He remembers you." 

Even through this, Caleb can feel Beau's eyes burning through the back of his head. 

 

* * *

 

_"Fuck."_

Molly has no idea what time he finally wakes up but judging by the heat of the room, its about mid-day. So he drags himself out of bed, gathers his few belongings, and heads down stairs to the tavern. He almost expects Ireena to be behind the counter this afternoon, but when it is instead, an older, gnomish gentleman, he figures that she has gone home already. Good on her. She got the hardest part of the job. There aren't too many people out day drinking at this time.

He makes his way back to the shopping district to check on the coat that he had commissioned. He finds her asleep at a cluttered table with her head in her arms.

"Mary-Anne, my dear, how is everything coming along?" She startles awake and looks around frantically. When she meets Molly's eyes, she looks absolutely _exhausted._ Regardless, she smiles at him.

"Oh! You're here! Sorry, I didn't sleep last night," Her sentence is cut off with a yawn. "But don't worry! I have your coat finished just as you asked." She looks back to the large work table in front of her. The entire top is cluttered with strips of fabric, needles, thread, shears, etc. You name it, it's on there. Then, right in the middle of all the chaos, sits a masterpiece. She picks the coat up off the table and holds it up for him to see.

The tapestry became so much more than Molly could have ever imagined. The majority of the coat, of course, is royal blue save for the massive platinum dragon on the back and the silver edging. Mary-Anne had even taken his tail into consideration for the design, leaving a slit down the back for it to move freely. The wings of the dragon wrap around his sides like a nice, big, ever-present wing hug. The sleeves are long but easily changeable to a quarter sleeve or less with a couple conveniently placed buttons. 

Mollymauk's tail whips wildly behind him and he stares at it in awe.

"Gods. This is amazing!" He reaches out to touch it. "Can I put it on?"

"Oh! Yes, yes of course!" She says grinning as she hands it to him. He swiftly throws it on.

"Love, do you happen to have a mirror?" She nods enthusiastically.

"Yes! It's right over here, actually." She leads him to a tall mirror. The shade of blue makes his lavender skin seem more vibrant, the peacock tattoo taking on new life. The orange silk flower seems to stand out more as well. It isn't his old coat, but it certainly is extraordinary. He grins at his reflection and turns back to the seamstress.

"Mary-Anne, thank you. Really, thank you. I have asked much of you. Far too much for far too little in return. Somehow, you managed to do what shouldn't be possible in the tiny window of time you were given and I can't help but feel guilty."

"Oh, don't worry too much! I appreciated the challenge!" He smiles at her, taking her hand.

"Still. You deserve much more than a meager 120 gold." He removes a platinum bracelet from his wrist and puts it in her hand. "I want you to have this. I don't have much, but this is something that is worth parting with. It's made of pure platinum. You can sell it, keep it, whatever you like. It's yours. And I want you to have this as well." Molly druid crafts a beautiful red rose and hands that to her as well. 

She stares at him. Mouth agape. Rendered speechless. "I- uh, I- _Thank you!_ " Molly smiles fondly.

"This is a _magic_ rose. It will bring you good fortune. Thank you my dear." He kisses her on the forehead, quietly placing 10 extra gold on the table behind her. "I'll spread word of your talent. Good luck, Ms. Mary-Anne." 

Then he leaves the shop. For about ten minutes after watching Molly walk out the door, all she can do is stare at the space he was in, processing what had just happened, clutching the bracelet and the rose like a lifeline. Then she sits back down at her table, looks over the mess and promptly falls dead asleep in her arms. 

 

* * *

 

There's no way that he can simply _walk_ to Zedash. _Right?_ No. He has to buy a horse. And supplies. And a map. He decides to start with the horse and move on from there. 

"Good afternoon, Gentleman." He says, approaching the stables. "I was wondering, if you had any horses available for sale. I've got _quite_ a long trip back to my homeland and I feel that it would not be very practical to walk there."

The men exchange a look.

"Actually, we were informed that we were to keep an eye out for someone of your description." Molly looks at them warily. 

"Oh, really?" The second man speaks up.

"Yeah, there was a really nice Dwarven lady who bought a horse and then handed me this letter for _a purple tiefling with tree-ish horns._ " He hands the letter to Molly.

 

_**Dear Molly,**_

_**I know that by the time that you read this we will have said goodbye long ago. I also know that if you knew that we did this, that you would refuse and instead use the gold given to you by Caspar. So haha! We win! (That was from Zoe.)** _

_**We will meet again one day, I'm sure. When you find your family, don't forget your other family as well. We love you, Mollymauk Tealeaf. Travel safely and enjoy the life you've been given another chance with.** _

_**Love,  
Marley**_

P.s Laurelai wanted to give you this clover for good luck.

There is a four leaf clover inside the envelope. Molly smiles and puts the clover inside of the journal from Laurelai, putting the letter from Marley, the letter from Caleb, and the Moon Tarot card inside it as well for safe keeping. Then he puts the journal back in his pouch of special things.

"Thank you." He says to the men. They nod.

"You're- uh, welcome. Well. This is the horse that she left for you." He whistles and waves another stable hand his way.  
"Marcus, bring the Gypsy." _Gypsy..?_

"Right, boss!" Within a few moments, Marcus comes forward with the most beautiful mare that Mollymauk has ever seen. Her mane is long and luxurious and white. Long hair covers her hooves making it seem like she's wearing boots. Her fur is white with large asymmetrical red-brown spots. Molly is in love. He casts speak with animals.

"Hello gorgeous." The stable hands look at each other with concern for the man before them who suddenly begins making.. horse noises? The mare chuffs and shakes her mane.

"Hello."

"It seems that we are going to be with each other for some time. And I guess I can't keep calling you gypsy. Do you have a name?" If horses could raise an eyebrow..

"Names only exist through language. Whatever you wish to call me is up to you. Just get me the hell out of this place and we'll get along just fine." Mollymauk laughs.

"Oh, I think I like you. Well then, I will call you Willow." She gives a sort of nod.

"That will suffice. When do we leave? I'm rather sick of these people." At this time, the sun is just past the zenith.

"I've just got some shopping to do to prepare for the trip and then we can make our way towards Zedash." She hits the ground with her front hoof, nodding her head, sending long white and cream hair flying.

" _Ooh,_ Zedash! I've never _been_ to Zedash." She shakes her mane again. "I hope the grass is greener there. It gets so dull up here." Molly smiles up at Willow as the spell fades and strokes her nose. It feels like velvet.

"Right," He turns around. "Gentleman, was the saddle included or should I buy one?" 

"Ah, yes. The dwarf woman made sure to include a saddle in the purchase." Molly wishes that he could hug Marley in this moment. He hides the sudden ache in his heart with a familiar smirk.

"Wonderful. Well then," He claps. "I'll return for her in an hour. Enjoy your day." Molly pats Willow's nose once again. "I'll be back soon my dear." And he walks away. 

 

Like Molly had said, it only takes an hour for him to return with a map, food, a bedroll, and snacks for Willow. Somehow he only spends a grand total of five gold and thirty silver pieces. The map of the Dwendalian Empire was the most expensive. 

He takes Willow from the stables and he makes his way out of Hupperdook. Onward to Zedash. Onward towards, hopefully, his family.

 

* * *

 

The Nein, as a result to Nott and Jester's begging, decide to stay in Hupperdook for one more night, leaving first thing in the morning. With permission from the Shusters, Kiri is coming with them back to the Blushing Tankard for a good old fashioned sleepover. By sleepover, of course, they _really_ mean "cuddle pile".

Jester is the first to start. The second Fjord lays down she goes in next to him. Then Kiri gets in between her and Nott like the pit of an avocado. Next is Caleb using the crook of Nott's leg as a pillow. Caduceus comes in and lays down next to Fjord at a comfortable distance. Yasha lays down by Caleb facing the ceiling and for a good five minutes, Beau stares down at the group looking back and forth between Caduceus and Yasha. Eventually Yasha cracks a tiny smile. 

"Oh, alright." She says. Beau then excitedly whispers, "Yes!" Before laying down next to her so that their arms are touching slightly. Finally, with everyone situated, listening to the soft little chirps of Kiri as she sleeps, Caleb falls asleep. 

 

Caleb doesn't dream tonight. Once the void takes over his consciousness, that's all there is. After last night, this makes him feel a little lonely. A little sad. Without realizing it, Caleb had grown fond of all of these dreams lately. They made it feel like Mollymauk was alive again, and the absence of that makes him feel guilty and sad all over again. 

 

* * *

 

Molly and Willow ride until it gets dark. 

Unfortunately, riding a horse alone for five hours straight hours isn't nearly as fun as it had been with the Caravan. Even though Molly can talk to Willow, there is only so much conversation you can have with a horse before you feel like you're going completely mad.

The quiet that comes once he gives up on that is deafening. Molly hates it. He hates the silence. He hates the emptiness that hangs in the air like a noose. He hates being alone. It scares him. It calls forth the thoughts of loneliness and fear that he likes to push down and ignore by being around people. It reminds him of darkness. It reminds him of the bitter taste of stale blood and dirt on his tongue.

It's safe to say that by the time he finds a suitable campsite, his mood is significantly dampened. But when he does, it's perfect. There is a clearing fifty feet off the road where the canopy of trees splits open to reveal a perfectly clear sky filled to the brim with clusters of stars. Stardust in shades of blue and gold and green lights up the sky.

Mollymauk is cold but he quickly decides that there would be no fire tonight. He feeds and waters Willow, removing her saddle for the night before taking an apple from a pack that he had hanging off of the saddle with all of his supplies for the trip. Then he sets out his bedroll, leans up against the saddle, raises his sword up to the sky, and he prays to the Moon Weaver. Once he's done, he places the sword beneath the saddle, somewhat hidden and he just looks up at the sky, drinking in the starlight.

It's at that point where his mind finally frees itself from the brambles of thought and Molly feels his chest loosen up and he can breathe easier. A new thought comes to mind. One that he will gladly allow. One that makes him grin to himself. And he starts to think about the scruffy, yet _very_ attractive ginger from last night.

Mollymauk finds respite in his memories of the man. He thinks about his voice. About how his Zemnian accent drips off of his words and tongue like thick, sweet molasses. About how his eyes were ponds that flickered with a gentle flame. About how his laugh was soft and genuine and lit up his whole face staining his freckled cheeks with rose. About how, rather than smelling of booze after the Hour of Honor, he had smelled of wood smoke. Like a living fire.

He likes thinking about him and about how cute he was when he danced the waltz. And how he'd occasionally stumble and fall forward into Molly's arms when he got too dizzy, muttering something in Zemnian. He likes to think about taking time to find constellations in his freckles.

Suddenly, he wishes that he had asked, at the very least, for this handsome stranger's name so that he could try to find him again. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, Mollymauk pushes it out because he _really_ doesn't need to start writing out a bucket list of people to find again one day. It's too long already... 

Still, he will still continue to stubbornly continue to hope that maybe one day, their paths will cross again. Eventually, Mollymauk drifts off into sleep.

 

* * *

 

It feels as though he had been asleep for all of two minutes before his is very rudely awakened by a crossbow bolt being shot into his _fucking thigh!_

He wakes up with a yell, his eyes glowing with intense pain and rage. He grabs his sword form beneath the saddle. Then a voice calls out about fifteen feet away from him.

"Ay! We won't kill ya as long as ya pay da pipa' so tuh speak" Molly's eyes finally focus on seven figures lurking in the dark. The light of the moons does nothing to add to their stealth. If anything, it kind of ruins it. One looks craggy and dwarven and the four others look closer to human at this distance. He glares at them.

"Yeah! We've been havin' a bad couple uh days so don't test us." Mollymauk tears the crossbow bolt out of his thigh and starts to stand up.

"It appears to me that you have made quite the miscalculation here." He lifts a hand and points at the one that he believes shot him. "You seem to think that you can take me." Suddenly, the man that he points to is surrounded by hellish flames. He screams but he can't escape the flames. Molly can now see all of them clearly. Even better, they can all see him. Mollymauk smirks and drags his blade across the blood-red eye on his neck, coating it in flecks of ice. Molly makes his way towards one of the others, swinging the sword around.

"Hey, I think this guy is familiar. Are you sure you want to-" The Dwarven man pulls out a serrated black short and puts it to the man's throat.

"One more word from you, Lars, and I'll kill _you_ instead. Now attack him." Lars flinches and pulls out a bow, drawing an arrow. He shoots it but it goes wide. The dwarf growls at him and he shoots another one. This time it sinks into Molly's right shoulder. He tears it out with his left hand and throws it to the ground. 

The Dwarf glares at Lars and dashes at Molly with his short sword. His first strike misses as Molly moves to the side. Angry, he strikes again this time hitting the back of his leg. Pain explodes in Molly's calf. Another one of the bandits pulls out a couple throwing knives and he whips one at him. It misses. Another. This time it almost hits the Dwarf.

"Sorry, Regi!" He glares at the bandit and the scar beneath his right eye twists. The flames quickly died down and the bandit decides to shoot another bolt at Molly. The bolt sinks into his upper right arm. The pain is tolerable so he twirls around and he slashes at Regi, catching him across the chest. Molly then casts _Thunderwave_.

A thunderous force explodes from Molly. Distantly, he can hear the terrified whinny of Willow at the edge of the clearing. Regi, Lars, everyone around him is shoved ten feet away from him. Blood trickles from Regi's ears and nose and he looks _pissed_. He charges at Molly again but he never gets there. A streak of lightning comes down from the clear sky, directly hitting Regi, knocking him prone. Then everyone goes still. 

"Oh, gods.. Did- did _you_ do that?" The bandit with the daggers asks. Regi groans as he tries to sit up. His arms turn to Jelly and he face-plants back into the grass. His entire body looks bruised and his veins are dark and showing through his skin.

"I- no." Molly says. Then a figure walks to the middle of the clearing. He is tall with dark skin. A pure white afro and a long goatee. And flat white eyes, unseeing. A midnight-black humming bird flutters around him and he just simply steps on Regi as he approaches Mollymauk with a smile.

"Welcome back, baby. Love the horns." Molly's sword arm drops to his side and he just stares at this man with a voice like honey. "Are these people bothering you? Should we finish them off?" With a physical shake, Molly regains composure and he smirks.

"I have no idea who you are but I will gladly fight with you darling." He chuckles, low and deep.

"The name's Shakaste." He places a hand on Molly's shoulder and a familiar warmth fills his body and closes most of his wounds. 

"Thank you darling. Now who should we kill first?" Everyone but Regi seems to flinch. 

"No. No. No need to do that." Lars says quickly. Then his eyes grow wide. "I just remembered where I know you from!"

Molly pauses.

"You recognize me?" Lars nods.

"Yeah! You were with the Mighty Nein! Only your horns and coat are definitely different. But you're very distinguishable!" Molly grins cruely.

"And we let you live?" Lars flinches.

"Lars, if you don't shut it I'll kill ya!" Molly casts entangle on Regi, covering his mouth with the vines.

"Go on, Lars. Why don't you tell me." Molly uses devil's tongue. The bandit briefly glances down at his boss before swallowing hard and looking back at Molly compliantly.

"Y-yes sir. T-Twice sir. Three times if you count the other day. Sir." Molly's grin falls.

"The other day? You saw them recently?"

"Y-yes?" 

"How did you survive this time?" He swallows hard again.

"We- We ran.. sir. They let us go." Molly smiles to himself. 

"And whose idea was it to continue this skirmish even after you realized that I was a potentially dangerous opponent?"

"Mr. Reginalo." Molly looks at the man who is tangled in the vines with a raised eyebrow.

" _Reginalo?_ " Regi glares at him and says something but it is too muffled to comprehend.

"Hey, its a wonderful name. But you've chosen to be a bandit and you think that people will quiver with fear when they hear that they're being robbed by some dude named _Regi?_ " Molly makes air quotes. 

"Also!" He crouches down to make eye contact with Regi. "This guy warned you not to fuck with the Mighty Nein and you did. He warned you that he recognizes me. That alone should have sent you running. And yet you didn't." Molly looks to the other men. "This is ridiculous. I actually feel kind of bad for you. Your leader is fool hardy and you are badly trained. You're all going to get yourselves killed. Go. Leave. Make use of yourselves. And for the gods' sake Lars," He stands up again and walks to whisper in his ear. 

"If this asshole threatens you again, I want you to go straight for his junk. Its the one place that he will have forgotten to put armor over. And it will definitely give you time to draw your crossbow and aim it directly at his throat. So remember, go for his pair and grow your own because people like him will only prey on those who will let him." He pats Lars on the cheek and walks back to Regi.

"Go on now. I just want to have a word with your _leader_." The bandits all run away, leaving Reginalo behind. Molly pries the vine off of his mouth and looks him in the eyes with a smile.

"What more do ya want with me?" He spits. Molly puts on an innocent face, Shakaste stands behind him whispering something to his bird.

"Want with you? No Darling. I want something _from_ you. Not much. Just a little bit of information. And in return, I let you live." Regi tries to stab Molly with his eyes. Molly's voice drops low and he uses _Prestidigitation_ to make his eyes glow. 

"Where did you last see the Mighty Nein and where were they heading?"

 

* * *

 

They wake up well rested but sore. Though having a single room is cheaper and sleeping in a cuddle pile seems cute, its terrible for your back. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. Now they have to travel all day.

"Alright Kiri," Jester says as the Nein approaches the butcher shop. "You have to go back to your mama and dad okay?" Tiny bird child steels herself and chirps. Everyone takes turns saying goodbye to Kiri, giving her hugs and kisses. Caleb is last to say goodbye.

"Goodbye Kiri. Be good. Uh, read books? Uh.. Here." He bamfs Frumpkin into her arms. "Frumpkin wanted to say goodbye too." She scritches behind his ears and Frumpkin starts purring. Soon, she sets Frumpkin on the ground and she beckons Caleb closer and whispers in Mollymauk's voice,

"I'm Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to my friends. Take care of them." 

Caleb freezes.

_"V- Vas?"_

"Hey, Caleb!" Fjord's voice calls out from about ten feet away. "You comin'?" Caleb stares at her with a mix of confusion and skepticism.

"I- uh, _Ja!_ " He calls back, his eyes never leaving Kiri. She chirps tilting her head to the side curiously. "I'll be right there!"

Kiri seems to smile before she turns around towards the door. She opens it but turns around to face them all one last time before going inside. "Don't eat people!" She says.

"I love you, Kiri!" Jester calls back. She closes the door, leaving Caleb staring at the closed door looking confused as all hell. Caleb is absolutely _positive_ that Molly had never formally introduced himself to Kiri. Frumpkin weaves back and forth between his legs meowing at him and nudging his knee with his face. 

"Come on, Caleb!" Beau complains loudly, "We've got a long few days before we make it to Zedash!" He shakes his head, snaps Frumpkin onto his shoulders like a scarf, and turns around towards the group. Definitely _not_ thinking about Molly.

 

* * * 

 

Shakaste decides to travel to Zedash with Mollymauk, riding on the back of Willow. When Molly asks him what he plans to do in Zedash, he just puts a finger up to his own lips and whispers, _"Hush."_ Molly almost swoons. But he doesn't. At least not outwardly. Though he may have audibly sighed. _Maybe._

Over the next few days of travel, Shakaste is just as mysterious as he was the night with the bandits. Most of their conversations are about Mollymauk, himself. Usually about his super cool horns and his newfound ability to converse with and control aspects of nature.

Though his new travel companion is cryptic, Molly can't help but feel extremely grateful for his presence. His intrusive thoughts still come through in long gaps in conversation but Shakaste can usually begin to sense a change in his body language and find topics of conversation to get his moral back up.

Some intrusive thoughts are inescapable. 

As they get closer to the Gates of Zedash, Molly is full of nerves. He knows that Reginalo said that the Nein had been heading towards Hupperdook. But what if he had found a way to evade Shakaste's Zone of Truth? What if they were heading out towards Xhorhas and Regi was just sending him on a wild goose chase? What if he actually saw them in Hupperdook and didn't realize it? What if they went to Hupperdook only to continue on to a different town? What if they don't even associate with this _Gentleman_ anymore? How will he find them if they aren't in Zedash?

"Hey, baby, don't think too much. You've just got to trust your heart and your gut. Your head just wants to confuse you and I think that you've been through enough confusion lately that you just need to remember to breathe." Shakaste places a hand on Molly's shoulder.

"What if they're not there?"

"Then just stand by, and wait. I'm sure that sooner or later, they'll show up when they're least expected." Molly sighs but lets a tiny smile come to his lips. This whole thing has got him worrying about things that he never would have worried about before he died. He's anxious to find Yasha and Caleb and the rest of the Nein and it's messing with his head.

"Thanks." He only gets a soft chuckle as a response. Then the gates come to view.

 

Shakaste never goes through the Gates of Zedash. One second he's there on the back of Willow, and the next, he's just... _gone._ Molly doesn't even remember feeling him get off of the horse. That man truly is a mystery..

The people at the gates actually _recognize_ him. Of course, Molly plays it off like he knows exactly what he did to be known by the Crown's Guard. He just says that he is meeting up with the rest of the Nein and they let him in with no questions asked. Calling him "Sir" and everything.

He drops Willow off at the stables and.. And what? He's never been to this town in his memories. He looks around. And he continues to look around. And he must look lost and a little scared because a human child walks up to him and takes his hand.

"Are you okay mister?" She asks. He stares down at her and blinks. Then he smiles. 

"Ah, yes. I'm just a little lost and I'm not sure where I'm going." The little girl grins at him and tugs him to an elderly human woman selling various fruits.

"Ah, Marilyn." She says with a sweet smile. "Have you brought me another customer?" Marilyn shakes her blonde head. 

"No, Mrs. Utrak. They're lost." Pity crosses her face.

"Sorry to bother you but do happen to know of any inns or taverns? Possibly even a bathhouse?"

"I do. Mr. Kenington!" She calls behind her. A young man who seems to be in his late teens/early twenties with black hair stops moving around crates of fruit.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Would you be so kind as to help this young man find The song and supper inn, The Steam's Respite and wherever else he needs to go?"

"Of course, ma'am. Is there anything you need while I'm out?

"No, thank you dear." She smiles at the man. "And you's your name, colorful traveler?" 

"Mollymauk Tealeaf. You can call me Molly." He kisses her hand.

"Oh! You can call me Charlotte, dear."

 

After a few moments of exchanging thank you's, and sneaking a couple of gold pieces behind an apple for her to find later. He says goodbye to Charlotte and Marilyn and follows Martin, Marilyn's older brother, to the inn. Molly books a room, before wandering around looking at the different towers and buildings. Then just past midday, Molly says goodbye to Martin as well in front of the bath house.

When he steps inside, he is greeted by a very elegant elvish woman who smiles kindly when she sees him.

"Hello!" She says, "Welcome to the Steam's Respite. What can I do for you today?"

"Hello to you as well."Molly grins and leans forward on the counter. "I've done nothing but travel for as long as I can remember and I feel as though I've crawled out of my own grave." She chuckles.

"A little dramatic, don't you think?" _Darling, you've got no bloody idea._ He leans in like he's telling a secret, his tail waving behind him. 

"Oh, I'm _always_ a bit dramatic." He winks. She laughs again.

"Alright, so would you like your clothing to be cleaned for you while you bathe?" He grins. 

"That sounds _delightful_!" 

"Great! That will be one gold piece." He hands her two.

"Thank you." She seems surprised but accepts it without question. "Right this way." 

The Elvish woman leads Mollymauk through a door which leads to a small room with a basket and another door labeled _MAIN BATH._

"You can leave your clothing here and I will gladly take care of them for you while you relax." She gives a polite bow before leaving the room. Molly practically leaps out of his clothes. Its been so long since he'd been naked so now he walks up to the full length mirror on the wall and _really_ looks at himself. 

 

He is thinner than he remembers. His hair reaches just past his shoulder blades in a mess of curls that haven't been combed through in months and have been caked with mud and blood for far too long. He is covered with intricate and colorful tattoos that were put there to try to cover the strange red eyes that he woke up with the first time. Then there are the scars. Many of them are thin and healed over. But one of them aches to look at. The twisted, ugly scar just over his heart still pink. He turns to look at his back and sees that the scar reaches all the way through. That line of thought makes him nauseated so he moves to a safer subject. His di- horns. His horns. They are still pierced and curled. Though the wood-keratin branches have started to branch out and he's beginning to look a little crazy.. Then he gets an idea.

He casts speak with plants.

"Hey," He starts. "You may be just growing and doing your own thing, but I literally have to live with you. So would you mind just sort of.. _curling_?" A moment of understanding passes between them and the branches begin moving on their own, wrapping and curling around the existing horns. The leaves that have grown in also follow suit. Now his horns just look like they've been intentionally decorated with living vines. In a way, they really were. 

Satisfied with the state of his horns, Mollymauk finally moves away from the mirror and walks into the adjoined room. Just being in here warms his chilled skin and he shivers.

He practically sprints to the water.

As soon as he feels the deep warmth of the water on his skin, he sinks down with a content sigh, his eyelids fluttering closed as he leans back against the marble exterior of the bath. After a few long moments, he takes a deep breath and submerges himself completely beneath the surface. The warmth of the pool chases away the last of his travel aches and pains, both invigorating his senses and making him want to take a nap at the same time. From below the water, he hears voices followed by the sound of a familiar voice saying, 

"Oh, wow. Yeah. This is- this is nice." He recognizes this voice! Its _Caduceus!_ He practically _launches_ himself up out of the water and points gleefully at the Firbolg.

"It's you!" He announces, "I thought you were staying in Hupperdook!" Everyone stares at Molly with mouths agape except for an olive-skinned human woman with an undercut. No. _She_ is practically glaring at Caduceus.

"What the _fuck_?" Her mouth curls up into a snarl. Molly drops his hand and looks back at the strange group. To his pleasant surprise, he actually recognizes all of them. 

"Hey, I know you! You're the ones who won the Hour of Honor back in Hupperdook!" 

 

* * *

 

Like with any amount of travel, time flies when Jester is messing with everyone relentlessly. Over the next few days, she proceeds to draw dicks in Caleb's spell book, make each person their own little dick statuette, and braid Nott, Beau, and Yasha's hair fifty different ways, including together. She practices using her disguise kit on Caduceus which accidentally stains a bit of his beard scruff purple. Why she was trying to disguise him to be purple, no one knows but Caduceus doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. In fact, he seems happy to watch her thrive. 

Fjord does too. Every once in a while when Caleb looks up from his book, he catches the half-orc smiling softly at her from his horse. Now, Caleb is not one to usually notice such things, but even _he_ can tell that there is something more in the way they look at each other. Like the way Beau looks at Yasha. Or he looks at books. Or Nott looks at shiny things and alcohol. Maybe those last two aren't exactly synonymous to the situation but you get the point.

The night before their home stretch to the gates of Zedash, Caduceus asks Caleb to take watch with him.

"Um, _Ja_. Of course." Caduceus smiles at him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"That's good." He says before walking off to work on dinner. Eventually, everyone heads off to sleep except for Caleb and Caduceus. By the time he finishes putting an alarm spell around the camp, his teacup is already full of something that smells like lavender and chamomile. 

He sits down next to the firbolg as Cad stokes the flames with a stick. The fire crackles and sends embers flying up through the air. Cicadas buzz around them. 

"Mr. Caleb," He starts, breaking the silence between them. "You've been really off lately." It isn't a question. Its not accusatory either. 

"And I know that I told you that you don't have to say anything if you don't want to but if even _Beau_ has started to notice that something's up," He turns his head to make eye contact with him. "Then I think that it's well past time." He looks away, and places the stick on the ground next to him. 

"So," He says, leaning back to look up at the sky. "What's been on your mind?" 

Caleb swallows hard and stares into his teacup. A few long minutes pass before he sighs.

"I- It's Mollymauk." Caduceus looks at him with an indescribable expression in his eyes. 

"He's your friend. The one that died, before you met me?" Caleb nods.

"Ja. That is the one." Cad looks back up at the stars.

"What about this Mollymauk?" Suddenly Caleb's throat tightens up and he doesn't want to talk anymore. Like talking about the dreams somehow makes them feel further away. Makes Molly feel even more unobtainable than he already is.

"I-" Caleb takes a shuddering breath and wets his lips. The flames reflect in the teacup even as the liquid begins to tremble with him. "There have been... _dreams_. Not- not bad. Not at all. But there's this voice. A woman. I- I can't remember what she says." He lies. "But there was Molly too. And then back in Hupperdook-" He cuts himself off abruptly, squeezing his eyes shut. _Nein. Not that._

A large hand palms his shoulder with an impossible gentleness. Caleb meets Caduceus's eyes. They are unbelievably soft. Cad smiles with that same softness. 

"Mr. Caleb, and forgive me if I'm being too bold in this," He takes his hand off of his shoulder. "But do you think that the dreams are trying to tell you something?" Caleb gives him a tiny smile full of sadness and pain. 

"I don't know. All I know is that Molly is gone and I apparently care for him much more than I realized and-" He clenches a trembling fist and glares at the ground. "These dreams. They- They feel _cruel._ " 

 

 

If Caleb had seemed off before, then for the rest of the trip, he is somehow even _worse._

His conversation with Caduceus last night really took a toll on him emotionally. He speaks even less than usual, keeping his nose deep in his book, and closing himself off from his friends. He doesn't miss the glances from Cad.

Beauregard tries to talk to him about it but he avoids her relentlessly. He feels awful because her and Nott are the only ones who could feel even remotely similar to how he feels right now. They were there. They too, saw Molly die before their eyes. The looks she gives him cut through him like a knife. 

They reach Zedash just before midday. They drop off the cart and the horses before making their way to get rooms for their stay. That's when Jester gets this excited look in her eye.

" You know what we should _do_?" She hangs onto Fjord's shoulder, earning a soft smile from him.

"Sure, Jester, what've you got in mind?" She bounces on the balls of her feet.

" _We should go to the bathhouse!_ We haven't gone since..." She trails off but everyone hears it. _Since Molly died._ "P-plus, we should probably, I don't know, clean up a bit before confronting my _dad?_ " She's looking down at the ground, no longer hanging on Fjord. He puts a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looks up at him.

"I think that's a _great_ idea, Jester. What about you guys?" Beau, Nott, and Caduceus all basically say "Sure." But Caleb and Yasha stay silent. "Caleb, you comin'?"

"Nein. I-uh. I'm just going to- to look for.. books.." Beau stares at him.

"Wow," She deadpans. "That was _almost_ convincing."

"Yeah, I'm going too." Yasha says. Jester grins.

"To the bathhouse?!"

"I- no.To look for.. books." Everyone just stares at the two of them and they shift awkwardly beneath their gaze.

"Yasha, you read?" Beau asks.

"I- _yeah!_ I- I read. Not, really all that often- but I like how they.. _smell?_ " 

"I hope you know that you both sound really suspicious right now." Jester says. Caleb sighs out of frustration.

"Yeah, Yasha is one thing but you've been acting really weird lately Caleb. So what are you _really_ doing?" Beau crosses her arms.

"Okay. Fine. You want to know what I'm _really_ going to do? We will be at the Leaky Tap, very likely getting drunk on ale and self pity. Is that the answer you wanted Beauregard?" She doesn't flinch but a hurt look flashes across her face. He sees it and instantly feels guilty. 

_Now you've done it Widogast.._ He looks like he regrets snapping but he doesn't say anything else. He just turns around and walks off into the opposite direction. Yasha looks at him then back at the rest of the group. 

"I'm just gonna..." And she walks after him. Not trying to catch up. They all stare at their backs for a while until they're out of sight. Caduceus places a hand on Beau and Jester.

"Don't worry too much about them. They're just hurting and they don't know how to deal with it properly. Best we just give them a little time to themselves." Jester nods and gives him a sad smile. 

"Yeah, you're right." 

"They'll be fine. Lets just go have fun at the bathhouse." Nott says. She was strangely quiet through the whole exchange and she didn't move to stop Caleb. Jester nods again and Beau sighs.

"Yeah. Sounds good." Then, just past midday, they make their way to the Steam's Respite. 

 

* * *

 

"Hey, I know you! You're the ones who won the Hour of Honor back in Hupperdook!" They stare at him stunned. "Nice work, very well done." No one says anything and Mollymauk starts to shift uncomfortably. 

"Sorry. If I made you uncomfortable then I can lea-"

Then there is the slapping of bare feet on marble and a sudden blur of blue skin before he is tackled into a strong hug. The fact that they are both very much naked right now isn't exactly the most prominent thought he has as he feels hot tears on his chest.

"Is this really you?" The blue tiefling said. Molly's arms hover over her shoulders like he doesn't know what to do with them. "This isn't an illusion? Are you actually here?" Her voice is tight and she sounds so hopeful and heart broken that Molly can't help but hug her back. She's shaking. 

"I'm sorry, dear but I'm not quite sure what you mean." He says quietly. He looks over the other four people in the room. There was the attractive half-orc who he nearly threw to the ground when he was fighting the crowd before the Hour of Honor. He is just staring in shock, pointing a finger in his direction. Caduceus just stands by with a cryptic smile on his lips. The goblin girl who was with the scruffy ginger from that night stares at him suspiciously like she is trying to figure him out. Then there is the muscular, olive-skinned girl who seems like she's trying to decide whether or not to yell at Caduceus or break down and cry.

"Am- am I missing something?" He asks. The girl in his arms looks up at him with violet eyes. 

"Molly, you don't remember us?"

"Impostor!" The goblin girl yells pointing an accusatory finger. "He isn't the _real_ Mollymauk Tealeaf! Get him!" She begins to charge but Caduceus picks her up and holds her. 

"Nott, calm down." He says disarmingly. She continues to yell for him to put her down but he doesn't comply. For a moment, he looks as though he would put a hand over her mouth but then he seems to realize that it would really just be safer to keep his fingers away from those teeth. Goblin bites are no joke..

" _Excuse me_ , but I am very much who I am. I've been me since before I can remember and a little memory loss can't change that." He looks back to the tiefling girl. "Now, if you would be so kind, dear, can you please tell me who you are. You seem to have a bit of an unfair advantage over me at the moment and I'm not too sure that I like it." She sniffles and nods, stepping away to gesture to herself.

"I am Jester, your favorite blue tiefling." She laughs a little bit but its a bit hollow. "The goblin girl is Nott and she is very nice. Then there is Oska- _Fjord_." Fjord is no longer pointing in shock but his expression is unreadable. Then there is Beau. She's really cool and _really_ gay." Beau pulls a face.

"Jester.." Her voice is rough.

"What? You _are_!" Jester says. She's not crying anymore and she has a smile on her face now. She looks back at Molly. "Oh! There's also Caleb and Yasha but-" He jumps at their names and puts his hands quickly on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

"Wait! You said Caleb and Yasha?!" Her eyes are wide and she gasps.

"You remember Caleb and Yasha?!" She's full-on grinning now.

"Well I have my memories of Yasha and the circus but I only know Caleb from the letter that he left me when I died! Wait! So if you're with Caleb and Yasha, then does that mean that you are the Mighty Nein?!" Nott goes still. Beau seems to have forgotten her anger towards Cad for the time being because she is now openly crying.

"Molly.." Her voice is hoarse. She approaches him and hugs him. "I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that you were killed. _I'm so fucking sorry.._ " Mollymauk hugs her back.

"Well, I'm here now. What happened in the past means nothing now." She pulls away and wipes her tears, avoiding his eyes. She nods and clears her throat.

Nott is set down again and she's also crying.

"I'm sorry for calling you an impostor." Molly smiles at her. 

"No worries." Finally, Fjord snaps out of his shock and he also walks up to Mollymauk. He claps his hand on his shoulder.

"Welcome back my friend. Don't go dying again anytime soon." The tiefling laughs. 

"It isn't exactly on my to-do list, but it looks like we'll have to see where lady fate takes us." Fjord smiles.

Caduceus hangs back but smiles when Molly meets his eyes. 

If Mollymauk had his way, he would have run out of the bathhouse completely naked and streaked through Zedash to get to Yasha and Caleb as fast as possible. And he would have done so shamelessly. Unfortunately, even without Jester saying so, Molly knew that he would end up in the stockade just as quickly as he ran outside. So while that truly _does_ sound like _oh so much fun_ and definitely worth it, Molly decides that it would be counter-productive. Therefore that plan was immediately squashed down. Or at the very least, filed away for another time. 

Finally, after what feels like forever, their clothes are returned to them warm and freshly cleaned. Mollymauk throws them on in record time and as soon as he can, he sprints out of the bathhouse and makes his way to The Leaky Tap. Vaguely he can hear Jester and Beau calling for him to wait but there is no stopping him now. When he gets there, Molly _slams_ the door open, startling the other patrons. He scans the room and sees a very familiar, tall, pale woman with black hair that fades to white. A massive great sword is leaning up against the counter next to her where she sits alone at the bar. He doesn't think twice.

" _YASHA!_ " He yells. She stills but then she spins around fast enough to give herself whiplash. Her eyes are wide as they come across lavender skin, flat red eyes, and horns that curl like a ram's. Molly vaults over a table and runs to her. Yasha's ale hits the ground with a _splash_ and the bar stool and sword clatter to the ground as she scoops him up in a fierce hug. They're both crying. She is squeezing him so hard that he feels as though his ribs may collapse but he doesn't care. He is so happy. He found his family. He found his home. He found his sister. They are both trembling and laughing and crying and its honestly a huge mess.

Neither of them notice the door open. Neither of them hear the books hit the ground. Neither of them notice as Caleb collapses to his knees with shock. 

Beau does.

She gets Jester's help and they get Caleb to his feet. They grin at him with tears in their eyes and they walk him over to Mollymauk and Yasha while Caduceus retrieves his fallen books. Jester taps Molly on his shoulder and he turns toward the three of them with a grin on his face and tears pouring down his cheeks. 

Then their eyes meet and the room around them disappears. And they just stare at each other. Mollymauk can feel his pulse in his ears. He knows that Jester is talking to him but her words are far away. Something in his mind clicks. Subconsciously, his tail wraps around Caleb's leg.

"So you were Mr. Caleb all along. I was wondering how you knew my name without my telling you." He's grinning. 

"I- I thought it was a dream.." Caleb says quietly. Molly laughs. "I thought _you_ were a dream.."

"No love. But you were _very_ drunk. It was an honest mistake. But I will say that I am _honored_ to be deemed worthy enough to be in _your_ dreams, darling." Their friends look between them curiously.

Caleb's face turns beet red and he has to look away from Molly, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. Caduceus has the tiniest most satisfied smile.

"Okay can one of you explain what this is about? Caleb, your face is putting Molly's eyes to shame." Beauregard says. Molly laughs hard and wipes the tears from his eyes. 

"Mother always told me to never give away a story for free." Beau glares at him without malice.

"Really? Come on, Tealeaf. You and I both know that's bullshit." 

"Do we?" He winks at Caleb turning him absolutely _crimson._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love every comment that I receive. It urges me on to continue even when I get stuck. I'm sorry that it always takes so long to update but I'm a perfectionist at heart. (Plus between working on my Mollymauk cosplay and my actual job, I tend to be pretty busy. <3 ) 
> 
>  
> 
> This isn't the end.


End file.
